A Twist of Fate
by Supreme Mystic Dragon
Summary: It's been a week since Terra left the Titans, and Beastboy is worried sick about her. Can he turn things around, or is Terra's fate sealed?
1. Prologue: Forces in Conflict

Hi Everyone!

I am slowly reformatting and proofing this story for errors and inconsistencies. It turned out quite a bit better than I thought it would, but it slipped out of the original format after the first few chapters. The people who have read this before will recognize this section as the former chapter two. Once I have finished the technical stuff, Act 1 is officially done, and I'm not sure when Act 2 will come out.

This story is a Drama with some supernatural content due to a crossover. It is also at times a Romance, and I warn you that there are two sets of love triangles: Starfire/Robin/Raven and Raven/Beastboy/Terra. These play a part in the story, but are not the whole point of it.

This is rated PG-13 to be on the safe side. There is some language and some adult situations. Nothing serious in Act 1

As always, I do not own the Teen Titans or anything in their universe. I also don't own Yu-Yu Hakusho or anything in their universe. My characters and plot twists are mine, but you can use them if you share the profits with me : )

__

_A Twist of Fate_

By

Mystic Dragon

_

* * *

_

It's been a week since Terra left Titan's Tower, certain that she had been betrayed by Beastboy. Slade had played off of her fears and uncertainties masterfully, leading her away from the people who were most likely to be able to help her.

She also left behind a boy who loved her, a boy who would have done anything he could to make her world right.

Slade now watches her, and waits for the moment when she will give in to the damage he has dealt her. He knows that she is very close to losing hope, and when she loses hope in everything but his offer to train her, he will claim her.

It will be his moment of triumph over the Titans. His own intelligence, resources and monsters combined with Terra's incredible ability to control and shape the earth will be an unstoppable force.

Or so he thinks.

Slade doesn't know it yet, but someone else has joined the game…someone else who doesn't like to lose…

* * *

_Prologue: Forces in Conflict_

Terra was running. Running from the demons in her mind. Running from Slade. Running from the person who promised to keep her secret.

She was running from the pain.

"Why did he betray me?!" She whispered to herself for the thousandth time. The wind howled around her, mocking her question. The answer was obvious, as usual. Beastboy had never cared about her- his first and only loyalty was to the other Titans. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I just needed more time! I _can_ master my powers!" she whispered to herself. The deep fear started again. It knotted her stomach, and filled her with a chill deeper than the cold of the desert night. _I can't do it, _she thought to herself. _I cause trouble wherever I go. Mudslides, earthquakes, electromagnetic pulses. I'm a walking natural catastrophe. I can't even tell if I'm doing it. I just know that the more I use my powers, the more things like that happen. And if I lose my temper…_

She stumbled into a cave. _I guess this is my home for tonight._ She made a face. _No bath for the last 6 days, and I've only found a few roots and a rabbit in all of that time. I should be used to this, though._ She paused momentarily, and sniffed the air. The dusty air of the cave had a peculiar odor. _Water,_ she thought with relief. She looked at the ceiling of the cavern nervously, and debated the risks. _What's life without a few risks?_ She thought to herself flippantly, and then felt the pain flood back when she remembered that seeking out the Titans had been such a risk. She felt a surge of anger flood through her. _Forget the risks. I want a bath!_ She almost snarled the thought to herself.

Her hands glowed yellow, and she felt the stone and dust beneath her. She pulled some of the stones and earth up, and damp earth awaited her underneath. _In a few minutes, I should have enough seep water to clean off with,_ she thought in satisfaction. She reached into her knapsack and pulled out an obsidian knife she had managed to create, a lighter she had filched from Titan's tower and some deadwood she'd found during her daily scavenging. As she started the fire, she glanced around at the cave and saw a few newly fractured rocks and dust piles, but other than that, it looked like her powers didn't cause too much extra damage. She sighed in relief.

This is so much easier with the lighter, she thought to herself as she lit the deadwod she had carefully arranged in a circle of stones. _It usually takes me twenty minutes to start the fire with stones._ She held her hands out the small flames, feeling some of the chill flow out of her icy fingers.

_I'd better eat first,_ she thought to herself, frowning at how little she found. She beamed when she looked at the rabbit she had snared. It used to bother her about killing and cleaning the creatures she snared, but the desert was an unforgiving place. She learned early that an empty stomach was a poor trade for bloodless hands.

_I'm going to have to have to catch something bigger now,_ she thought grimly to herself. She hated cleaning something as big as a deer, but that much meat would last her until summer. This was also the last part of the winter, and the weather was warm today. If something didn't kill some of the deer, starvation would. There was only so much to go around. _I should have prepared for this. Joining the Titans had never been a sure thing. Now I'm going to have to forage on the edge of the desert, where it's all been picked over already. _She made a face.

_Stop worrying about it. _She told herself firmly _I have food, and I can get more. I can have a bath tonight, and I have a fire. That's ten times better than yesterday. _She reached out to the warmth of the fire. Her knuckles were still stiff with the cold. She looked over at the hole she had made. There was about 3 inches of water at the bottom. She frowned again. _It isn't deep enough, _she thought to herself in disgust, and shivered in fear again. If she wanted her bath, she was going to have to dig out some more of the rocks. _No. I can't risk it. I'll have to wash with the water that's there. _The last thought was a glum one. She was _really _cold, and that bath would have helped.

Terra took out a dented two-quart saucepan, and dipped it into the seep. She put the pot on the fire, and started to skin the rabbit. As she pulled the skin off, she tossed some herbs into the water and some unknown roots she had pulled up at the edge of the desert. She hoped they would be some kind of starch, and taste better than tree roots. She gutted the rabbit, and decided not to bother de-boning it. She tossed it whole into her pot.

_40 minutes of stewing, _she thought to herself. She found herself laughing bitterly _I've spent all day stewing, so I guess it won't seem like long. _She couldn't help it. She started laughing uncontrollably. The bad pun mixed with too much stress was too much. _I'm losing it, _she thought in fear. She knew that going to the Titans was a desperation measure. She couldn't handle it out here, by herself, so she had gone to them. And it hadn't worked. They let her in, but they hadn't accepted her, really. They had Beastboy spying on her the whole time. It made her so mad just thinking about how smug Robin had looked when he had found out her weakness. And then Beastboy had insulted her intelligence by saying he hadn't given away her secret. _As if._

Terra stared at the seep she had created, idly splashing the water around. The Titans hadn't been honest to her. Maybe Slade's offer was worth considering. _No. I'm not a criminal! I'm not! I'm not a bad person!_ She knew he was watching her. You didn't survive in the desert without razor sharp instincts, even with powers such as hers. She felt him watching her. Sometimes it was the glint of light off of a camera lens, other times, she felt people where there shouldn't be any. _Beastboy was the least honest of all of them. He was the one who said Slade was bad news. What if Slade isn't evil? _Even in her muddled state, she knew all Slade was interested in was her powers. She washed the blood and fur off her hands in the seep water, and took a larger pot out of her pack. She dipped out more water, and put it on her cook fire.

As she put the pot on the coals, she tested the rabbit soup/stew. _Still awhile away,_ she thought and made a face at the horrid taste of the not quite cooked meat. She cringed at her next thought, but there was no way around it. She tapped into her powers, and pulled some more of the rock out of the seep, and put it near the door to block the view into the cave. _I'm not putting on a peepshow for Slade,_ She thought defiantly. Her power shifted, and the cave walls started to make cracking and slithering sounds. _Oh, no! _she thought to herself, _I'm losing control again! _She tried to concentrate on minimizing her powers, but the damage was done already. Several large rocks came loose from the ceiling, and one of them was going to fall right on her cookfire. "NO!"

The rock stopped inches about the pot, surrounded by a yellow aura. "Whew. Too close." She dropped the rock off to the side, and then looked at the entrance to the cave.

Blocked. Completely blocked.

"Well, this is just great." She muttered to herself. _At least air can still get through, or I'd be out of a fire. _"Am I going to have to sell my soul for things to start going right?!" She shouted this is pure frustration, but the words had a chilly ring of prophecy to them. Would she have to sell her soul for a piece of bread and a place to sleep?

A smell came to her, and it's aroma stole away her anger. The soup was done. Her stomach had long ago given up on telling her she was hungry, it told her eat the soup as fast as possible!

She stifled her stomach's angry twist, and dipped her finger into the second pot. "Ouch!" Her finger flinched back out of the hot water. She blew a long sigh. She was very tired, but sleep would have to wait. She looked back at the seep, and saw that there was more like 3 feet of water there, and it was eating the sides of her hole away. _The hole should last long enough for me to wash up, _She thought in satisfaction.

She stripped out of her dirty clothes, and stepped into the water. She shivered violently. _This is only going to get worse, so stop thinking about it, _She told herself firmly. She dug in her backpack for the soap she had "borrowed," and began to wash. After she got some soap in her hair, and she started to wash off all the dirt and sweat, she started feeling better. She got out of the water and walked over to the cookfire, and winced when she stepped on some of the sharp stones she had knocked lose. She took the pot of hot water off, and brought it over to where she was bathing. She dropped her clothes into the water and washed them as she waited for her rinse water to cool off. She was covered in goosebumps, and was shivering even more than before. After she got done washing and wringing her clothes out, she felt the pot. _A little hot, but I probably need it right now. _She carefully dumped the water out of the pot onto her head, and then on her arms and hands, and finally, her feet. She carefully dried her feet, and then wrapped the robe from her pack around her. _Warm at last. And I still saved half of the water to drink…_

She removed the pot with the rabbit soup from the cookfire, and was looking at it hungrily. _Gotta wait. It's too hot now, but at least I know it's done since I let it sit there during my bath. _She made a face. She wasn't the best cook in the world, and it was doubly hard since she never knew what she was bringing home to eat. Not that she had a home. She grimaced. _Not the time to be thinking about that. Not at all. _She tried to get her mind to be quiet, but that same whisper started again. _Slade can help you…_

That whisper was getting louder each day. On nights like tonight, she didn't even know why she resisted it. She had gone to sleep chewing Mormon tea yesterday. She hadn't been able to find anything better than honeysuckle and that hideous tasting green plant. At least it made her stop thinking about how hungry or thirsty she was. She tested the soup again. It was hot, but she needed some. She took careful sips from the pot, and then remembered that the bones were still in the soup. She frowned, and fished out the ribcage and the various other bones with her knife. She quickly finished the soup as it rapidly cooled.

The night air was still chilly, but a good effect of her almost cave-in was that the heat from the fire was starting to infuse the air of the cave. She picked the remaining pieces of meat off the bottom, and wished again for some bread or crackers. She settled for the water she had boiled for her bath. Again, she carefully sipped at it. She had almost made herself sick more than once by drinking too much water too fast before. She'd learned to be careful, and to boil every drop before drinking it.

When she was new to wandering, she'd taken a drink of river water. It seemed clean, but she had spent weeks in a hospital recovering from giardia. It was hell. When she was awake, they wanted to know who she was and how they could contact her parents. She had feinted limited amnesia, and escaped as soon as she was physically able to.

Terra tried to stay awake, but the unfamiliar heat and food in her belly had her nodding. The fire was down to low coals, so she allowed herself to fall asleep with her head resting on her forearm.

* * *

Two figures had watched the episode with Terra's powers from the top of a nearby boulder. A short figure with wavy pink hair shook her head in disgust. The other glanced down at his shorter companion with amusement. "Not quite what you were hoping for, Genkai?" The taller one asked.

The shorter figure glared at him. "I don't appreciate being dragged from my bed to look at a silly little girl." The voice was rusty with age.

The taller one blew a sigh. "I'm not here because she has legendary talent, Genkai. I'm here to save her from her fate."

Genkai snorted at him. "Your new powers must be going to your head. The girl has a formidable talent. I'm commenting on her stupidity. None of this would have been necessary if she had swallowed her pride and accepted help from these "Teen Titans."

The taller one raised an eyebrow at her. "Never done anything stupid in your life, Genkai? I'd say entering the Dark Tournament with Toguro in your early life counted. I flirted with the darkest kinds of power when I was young and stupid. I think Terra just needs another chance."

Genkai glared at him, and then relaxed. "You're right, of course. If we were being judgmental, probably more than half the children you bring to the school wouldn't be there. I just wish you weren't dumping her into my lap."

"You don't like her?" The taller one asked casually.

"I don't know yet. I don't get the feeling that she needs the kind of training I normally offer, though." She looked at him, puzzled. "Why did you bring me out here? I assumed you wanted me to train her."

"As always, the choice is entirely yours, Lady Genkai."

She looked at him shrewdly. "Why do you want me to do it? You usually train the rowdy little ones." She paused "You aren't in love with her already, are you?" She asked in disgust.

The taller one stiffened, and then relaxed. "Baiting me, Genkai?" He asked in dark amusement. "If you want to know the truth, I'd have loved training her. She's special."

"But…?" Genkai persisted.

"But she's a wild child. Although she has experiences to draw on, she's spent a long time away from society. Maybe a long time away from her parents. I can't tell. The result is that she needs a female teacher. She needs to learn how to protect herself, and regain her self-worth. I can't think of anyone better suited for this."

"This is not my area of expertise. I teach the strong ones self-discipline and sacrifice. You need to find someone else."

The taller one looked at her penetratingly. "I don't hire for skill. I hire for heart. I can't do this, because I don't know what problems she will face in the world. You are a superb tactician, and I know you can help her with her weaknesses. You can show her how to see through people and how to deal with her fear."

The taller one continued, "I don't need you to be the hard as nails trainer this time. I want you to try and crack that shell she has around her. Show her that she has the power to make her own fate, and not have it be dictated by people, events or even feelings."

Genkai looked at the collapsed cave mouth doubtfully. Despite the taller one's words, She felt Terra was on the path of self-destruction. Maybe no one could stop her. And then she remembered the cocky kid that had showed up at her shrine so many years ago. So full of himself, drifting through life with no reason to live. He had only come back from the dead because his Mother and two of his friends had been broken-hearted by his death.

Genkai stared at the stars. Yusuke had been a trial and a joy for her. While she was neutral when it came to matters of good and evil, Yusuke had a startling amount of good in him, and seemed to find his purpose in protecting people- especially children. She'd had to push him to his limits, as had Toguro, to scrape off all of the layers of bravado and outright lies he hid behind to conceal his pain. Was Terra really so different?

Genkai laughed sharply. If Yusuke, who's powers were demonic in origin, could find joy in saving people, Terra shouldn't be impossible either. She even found herself smiling in a slightly savage way. She loved challenges more than anything. Then, a thought occurred to her.

"You'll be training her, too, won't you?" Genkai asked suspiciously.

"Maybe. I haven't decided yet." The taller one stated breezily.

"Bullshit. You have this all planned out." She stated evenly

He looked over at her and smiled. "I don't know if my services will be necessary. I don't even know if this will work. But I'll tell you this: She won't be learning tactics from me. I leave her whole curriculum to you. Don't feel like I'll be teaching her behind your back."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"And I told you I don't know yet." He responded sharply. "How could I?" He paused. "So, will you teach her what she needs to know?"

"Yes." She looked at him "We aren't keeping her indefinitely, are we?"

"No. Three months."

"THREE MONTHS!" She shouted at him "It might take years to straighten her out!"

"We aren't taking her away from here for any longer than that. You teach her what you can, and she'll learn the rest with the Titans."

Genkai looked at him strangely. "This is going to cause massive problems, you know."

"I refuse to keep her at the school when she has people who care about her here. Our job is to help get them back on their feet, not hold them forever."

"I sometimes mistake you for an over-emotional sap, but every so often you scare me with how cold blooded you are, Guardian." Genkai looked distraught. "You're making my job harder."

"Don't look at it that way." The Guardian looked at her "Terra will have other chances. Give her the gift of life, Genkai. Her happiness may follow."


	2. Beastboy's Revelation

  
  
Standard disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans, or any of the characters portrayed on the show. I do own this subplot(but feel free to play off of it), and I do own any original characters I choose to insert and any other place I choose to take everyone :)

* * *

_  
  
Chapter 1: Beastboy's Revelation _  
  
Beastboy was staring at the ceiling, doing something he didn't do often.  
  
He was thinking.  
  
It had been a week since Terra had swept into their lives, only to disappear without a trace. The weather had been unseasonably good, and the spring days felt like lazy summer ones. Normally Beastboy would be out frolicking in one of his many forms, but his mind had been jumbled since Terra left. He had experienced a clarity he had rarely known while she had been here, one he had not felt since he had been in Raven's mind and had decided not to bail out on her and leave her to the mercy of her rage.  
  
He was laying down on the couch, and for once the other titans weren't around causing havok in the kitchen or watching TV or dueling on the gamestation. He could hear the waves crashing outside Titan Tower, and there was a surreal peace in the air. The sun was shining brightly, and Beastboy couldn't decide if the cheery conditions made him feel peaceful or offended him.  
  
He couldn't believe that Terra had left. The things she needed most had been here, freely offered. Friendship, family, a home...but Terra's fear of discovery and her shame at her weakness had driven her away. His perceived betrayal of her had destroyed any chance that she would see them as friends. Why did she go?

Beastboy stared out the huge windows that overlooked the bay. _What was Slade doing there in the mine?_ he wondered to himself. They had successfully fought off his goons, but it had all seemed too easy to him. When Slade did something, it was never a clear win before. Skin of teeth, barely victories that required all of the Titans working together. And usually Slade was still the one laughing at the end.

_He must have been after Terra._ The thought shocked him, but it was the only answer that fit. The only place he smelled Slade was in the corridor where he had found her after she inadvertently dropped the ceiling on him. When he had found her, her powers were spiraling out of control and only his instinct to reach out to her had stopped her from burying them all alive.

_What could he have said to upset her so much?_ Beastboy drew a blank.

He didn't really understand Slade. Slade was an enigma that he wished would just go away. _Every time things are starting to go well, he shows up and messes everything up._ Beastboy thought bitterly. _The Hive, Cinderblock, Plasmus, his robot ninjas…even Robin. Robin…_  
  
Beastboy frowned thoughtfully. _Robin got all weird on us, even before the fake chronoton detonator. The whole Red-X thing started after Slade pushed his buttons._ Beastboy chewed his lower lip. _Slade knew exactly what to say to make Robin lose it._

Maybe he didn't need to know what Slade said to Terra. _All he had to tell her was exactly what she didn't need to hear._ _What does he want with her, though?_ Beastboy dismissed out of hand that he was afraid of her joining them. Slade made it clear that he felt the Titans other than Robin were not even worth his time.

_Slade didn't get his insights about Robin from thin air. He took his time, and probably watched us from the beginning. He may even have been watching Robin when he was working with Batman._ Beastboy shifted his position on the couch. _If he did this, he must have been watching Terra for some time, too._

Something that had been itching the back of his mind clicked into place. _He was there in the desert. I'm sure of it now._ The little changeling had been out of his element when they had gone to the desert, but he remembered smelling faintly metallic odors that day when he had been in wolf form. He had dismissed it as the other smells had been overpowering, and Terra had been there, the most potent distraction.

_Ok. Bad guy stalks Terra then messes with her mind. Now what?_ Beastboy didn't like what popped into his head.

He goes in for the kill now that she's vulnerable. Beastboy thought about that. _Not a literal kill. He has her right where he wants her…but what does he want?_

An apprentice, Beastboy thought in horror. _He wants a servant worthy of him_._ A super-soldier._ As he thought about it, she began to fit the profile more and more.

Robin was inaccessable to Slade. Slade knew that he would simply refuse to comply now. That meant he needed new talent. HIVE was a waste of time for him. Jinx, Gizmo and Mammoth were impressive, but they were like trained soldiers and often did more damage than good. Jinx was a possibility for Slade's new tool. Her power was nightmarish, but probably because of the nature of her talent she was also crazy. Gizmo was cunning and his mechanically genius was unmatched, but he was physically weak and no threat without his toys. Mammoth was a Brute. Slade didn't like the stupid ones.  
  
Enter Terra- an amazing power, no lack of intelligence and a gentle nature. And her uncontrolled power eating her sanity away. This wouldn't be like Robin's slavery to Slade, Beastboy sensed. Robin had the fire of violence in his heart and an indomitable will. If he had powers like Starfire, Beastboy thought that Robin could easily clear this town of every single criminal. Slade had sized up Robin's potential well, Beastboy thought. He had totally screwed up about messing with his mind, however.  
  
Robin had confided in Cyborg and him that Slade had tried every trick in the book to get him think of Slade as something other than a mortal enemy. Mocking his current abilities, making comments about how well he was coming along in becoming like him, suggesting that he was the evil one for trying to break free, even insinuating that he would see Slade as father figure in the future. Robin had an adamantine will, however. Only the threat of killing his friends made more than a small dent in his determination to be free.  
  
_Terra will be lost, _Beastboy thought in shock. If Slade gets his claws deep enough within her, we may end up fighting her as Slade's new apprentice. Her need for help and failing willpower will make her putty in Slade's hands.  
  
_I've got to do something! _Beastboy thought to himself. He had been calm, but now a sense of enormous urgency filled him, and he was almost jittery with nervous energy. _I can't leave, the other Titans need me._ one part of him said. The smarter, or dumber side butted in though _They don't need you right now. Slade is focused on Terra, so only the ordinary criminals will be causing trouble. Remember how Slade had ceased almost all of his operations for weeks while he toyed with Robin?_ Beastboy's blood froze at the concept of Slade "visiting" Terra in the desert while she was all alone.  
  
_I have to find her! _Beastboy sat up, and rubbed his eyes. He really needed to take a nap, but this couldn't wait. _Wait a minute, _he thought to himself. _I'm not going to find her in a day, or even a few days. This could take weeks- she might even make a special effort to hide from me._ He groaned to himself. Why did this have to be so difficult?! _Darn it! _He thought to himself. _Now I'm starting to sound like Raven when she's mad._  
  
"THAT'S IT! I'M THROUGH THINKING ABOUT THIS!" He shouted at the top of his lungs in pure frustration.  
  
"Beastboy was thinking? Does someone want to check his temperature?" Raven said in her cool, emotionless voice, but with a hint of playful sarcasm. Beastboy spun around to find the other Titans putting away groceries. _I guess they went out shopping for food. _Terra had eaten them out of house and home. That brought a bit of a grin to his face. He'd never seen anyone eat as much she could, not even Cyborg.  
  
"I will get the implement with which we gage the excess in heat which Beastboy's body is producing!" Starfire chimed in merrily. The others looked at her strangely. Even though she was catching on to the words, customs and ideas of earth astoundingly fast, it still startled them sometimes when she was dead on without one of them having to explain more than once. It was almost as jarring as when she got it wrong. Overall, Starfire was an exceptionally nice girl, but you almost had to brace yourself whenever she opened her mouth.  
  
Robin was looking at Beastboy, trying to size him up. _No hint of his happy-go-lucky attitude. I wonder what he was thinking about... _

Cyborg walked up to him. "Mr. Tofu here must have been daydreaming about his girlfriend..." Cy started teasing when the most amazing thing happened.  
  
Beastboy turned all red.  
  
Angry red.  
  
He turned into an eight-hundred pound Saber-tooth tiger and roared. The whole room shook, and Cyborg fell back over the couch and cowered there. Even Raven looked a bit taken aback by the teen's uncharacteristic rage. Strangely, Beastboy felt better and shifted back into his human form. "Hey Robin! Did you get me tofu burgers?" He asked the masked teen in his normal cheerful voice.

* * *

Robin looked at him sidelong. _That was weird. I hope he's got it under control now, _he thought to himself. "Sure. I picked you up a package." _I should probably skip the part about how Cy didn't want to get them. We don't need him shifting into a whale or a brachiosaurus and flattening the whole tower. _He shuddered. Replacing the light bulbs and computer screens from Raven's outbursts was bad enough.  
  
"Yes, and we picked up some of the tangy yellow beverage called mustard and a strange red beverage that Robin said you liked." Starfire said as she returned with the thermometer. "I think he acquired something called "pick-hules" for you as well." she bustled over to him and slapped the thermometer against his forehead.  
  
"Ouch! Not so hard, Star!" Beastboy winced and rubbed his forehead. "You must mean ketchup and pickles. Thanks boy wonder!" He said, giving Robin a wink.  
  
Cy meanwhile was pulling himself up from the floor behind the couch, muttering something about shapeshifters in love. Beastboy turned and gave him a deadly glare. "Will you shut up!" He screamed at Cyborg. Star dropped the thermometer, which read normal for Beastboy, and cringed.  
  
Beastboy regretted doing that while Star was next to him, but he really hadn't thought it would happen like that. No one ever took his threats seriously. Maybe that's because he really didn't mean them, he reflected. He meant it this time. Cy's comment had hit him at a really bad time. "I'm sorry Star," He said to her gently "I didn't mean to scare you."  
  
Star looked at him uncertainly, but it looked to her that he really was sorry. On the other hand, she could still sense the ugly anger he felt toward Cyborg. _Why would he feel that way about one of his best friends?_ she wondered.  
  
Cyborg started to open his mouth again, but Robin cut in. " Hey Cy, I think we should have take-out tonight. Do you mind getting it?"  
  
Cy looked puzzled, but then the thought of taking "his baby" out on the road for a spin brought stars to his eyes. They had walked to the store earlier, since it was so nice out. Take-out was a viable excuse to use his car- couldn't let the Pizza get cold! Cy frowned. He was far from stupid, and Robin was manipulating him.  
  
"I'd like a pizza with spinach and feta, if you don't mind." Came Raven's surprising comment. "I'd also like some garlic bread." Her words were nonchalant, but her gaze at Cyborg was not. It was intense, and seemed to convey that he should do it. "We'll call it in if you'll go get it now."  
  
Cyborg felt like he was getting picked on, but it dawned on him that this was not a normal argument he was having with Beastboy. Beastboy was never this intense. Something was wrong. "Al'right! Pizza it is! Get me a...."  
  
Robin interrupted hurriedly, as he was sure Cy was going to order a double meat-lovers pizza. _Darn it!_ He thought to himself. _Cy is so used to teasing Beastboy that he's doing it without thinking! _"I'll just do the usual order, plus Raven's," Robin cut in "That's what you thinking of, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I was gonna order..." Cy started, and then realized what he would have said if Robin hadn't interrupted "...cinnamon sticks with that." He finished somewhat lamely. "I'll be back in about half an hour." Cy waved as he walked out down the hallway to the elevator.  
  
Beastboy seemed to relax a bit as Cy left, but his normal aura of fun and mischief was still gone, replaced by a feeling of cold anger around him.  
  
"I'm making my own dinner" Beastboy announced "I'm not in the mood for pizza." The teen picked up the thermometer and handed it back to Starfire. "Thanks for worrying about me, Star." He smiled at her. He was still upset, but Starfire made him smile the same way he made her smile when he turned into an ultra-cute kitten and gave her "the face." He made his way to the kitchen to make his tofu burgers. He was also going to have to figure out what to bring with him when he left to track Terra down.  
  
Raven looked at the upset Starfire by the couch, and made a decision. "Star, do you want to help me with that painting we started yesterday?"  
  
Star's eyes grew bright again. "That melancholy scene from inside your mirror is a most interesting..." She begin as the two of them left the room toward Raven's bedroom.

* * *

Beastboy was getting back into his normal mode, with a goofy chef's hat and apron on, grilling 4 soyburgers on the range. He was tearing up some red-leaf lettuce that he had washed into burger sized sections when he noticed that Robin was still there, sipping some iced tea.  
  
"Dude, why are you staring at me?!" Beastboy demanded  
  
"Because you just scared Cyborg more than that creepy robot Fixit ever did, and you almost managed to make Starfire cry. If that isn't bad enough, you even managed to terrify Raven without even looking at her. The real question should be: How can I not stare at you?" Robin said evenly. Beastboy looked regretful, but not ashamed. Robin settled on his first instinct. "This is about Terra, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah..." Beastboy said in a depressed voice, looking down for a moment.  
  
But then he looked up, and looked right at Robin. Robin saw an icy cold fire in Beastboy's eyes. He was shocked. What he saw was anger and determination- he was sure that his eyes had looked like this when he had torn Slade's symbol off his chest. That was the look of a person who know that they were going to be hurt, but also knew that they were going not going to give up, no matter what the cost.  
  
"We haven't gotten any threats from Slade in the last week, have we?" Beastboy asked offhandedly "I wonder what he could be up to?" He said with mild sarcasm as he went back to preparing his huge dinner.  
  
As Beastboy started slicing a tomato for his burgers, Robin responded "No, he's been pretty quiet since we beat him in the mine." He thought about it for a moment. "In fact, except for a few minor problems, we haven't had anything to do since then."  
  
Beastboy weighed whether or not he was going to tell Robin that he was going to take off after Terra, and all of the weight slid to telling him. If Robin understood what he was doing, he could keep an eye out for Slade and maybe even help him in his search some way. He was going to have to lead Robin on this one, or he was sure Robin would dismiss his reasoning out of hand. "Funny how Slade didn't seem so interested in you this time. He doesn't seem like the type to give up." Beastboy finished his tomato slices and started to put ketchup and mustard on the buns. "I was also surprised that he was really there in that mine, rather than sending a robot like he did before."  
  
Robin looked at him shrewdly "How do you know it was really him?" Robin wanted to know. "It could have been a robot- we weren't able to tell before."  
  
"Because I smelled him when I slashed him with my claws in his clock tower." Beastboy said calmly. "I was getting tired of being beaten by his remote control toys. You made him mad when you infected yourself with the nanobots. I know what he really smells like now, rather than the fake scent he puts in his robots."

Beastboy took the burgers off the grill. He smiled to himself. A masterpiece. He walked over to the table with his huge plate and a glass of soymilk. "Funny that he was up to something not one day after we met Terra." He shrugged, and then paused "You didn't even get to fight with him this time, did you? There's never been a fight with him that I can think of where he didn't send his best fighter after you."  
  
Robin just stared at him in shock.


	3. Leadership's Price

I do not own the Teen Titans or anything in their universe.

_Chapter 2: Leadership's Price_

* * *

Robin sipped thoughtfully from his glass of iced tea, staring at Beastboy as the green little changeling devoured his dinner. Beastboy had always seemed like an unsinkable fount of humor to him(_Most of it bad, _he thought wryly), but it seemed that Terra and her sudden departure had made quite an impact on him. Robin and the others had been worried when he had spent days skipping stones and moping around in a deep depression. Starfire had never seemed very close to Beastboy, but they seemed strangely bonded now. _Maybe it was the fact that they both liked Terra, _Robin thought to himself.

Starfire had tried her best, in her own strange way, to help Beastboy. It hadn't worked though. Everything from Tamaranian hugs to pudding of sadness was met by a blank stare. Robin shuddered at how Beastboy had eaten some of the wretched pudding, only to thank Starfire and walk away. Cyborg couldn't get him interested in his favorite games on the gamestation, or even get him out to the video store. He and Raven were at a loss. Raven brought him herbal tea spiked with valerian root to get him to sleep for a few hours. Robin did his best to make sure that Beastboy didn't hear the alarms. He was in no condition to fight the various losers with super powers that plagued the city.

Keeping the peace in the city hadn't been easy, either. He didn't want to tell Beastboy, but HIVE had attacked two days ago, and without Beastboy's unpredictable tactics and shapechanging powers, they had barely stopped Jinx from wrecking the main bridge over the bay. _We're getting better,_ Robin thought to himself as he remembered the satisfying crunch his fist had made when it had connected with Mammoth's left temple, and how Starfire had blinded Jinx by making her star bolt explode in mid-air before Jinx could redirect it with her power. Raven stole the spotlight by shredding Gizmo's backpack in an awesome display of power. Robin wasn't so happy when he remembered the rest though.

Cyborg was hit by one of the loosened bridge cables, and had been knocked out cold. Mammoth had thrown Robin against one of the bridge supports right before Robin had hit him with an electrified disk. Raven had been caught in a wire net thrown by Gizmo's exoskeleton, and had lost control of her powers for a moment when her claustrophobia kicked in. _At least we won,_ Robin thought to himself _but Starfire had to help us all get home. _Robin shook his head. His bruises had not healed completely from that incident.

He looked over to see Beastboy still eating like a starving wolf. No big surprise there. Beastboy probably hadn't eaten all day. Robin and the others had gone out in the morning when they had found Beastboy staring at the ceiling. Raven had pulled Robin aside to tell him that she had found him awake in the same position around midnight when she had gone out on the roof to meditate. Beastboy's condition had them all on pins and needles- they didn't know what to expect next from him.

Robin sighed, but luckily Beastboy was too engrossed with his meal to notice. Robin noted that he was eating his third burger, and was starting to slow down. _I'd better be more cautious. If he's eaten enough, he's probably going to start feeling me out for my answer._ Robin sighed inwardly again. He had no idea what to do. This could be just another symptom of his depression, or he could be on to something with Slade. The ramifications for both were staggering.

_If I let him go, and Slade isn't after Terra, we lose Beastboy's help for an unknown period, and he might make Terra more angry with him. If I don't let him go, and Slade IS after Terra, she might come back and level the whole city. _Robin shuddered. Bruce had told him there would be days like this.

_It's not an issue of power, _Robin thought to himself. _Slade is no match for Beastboy physically. _The masked titan remembered with a grin how Beastboy had knocked his punching bag across the room during training when he was taking a break. Robin had just delivered an impressive series of kicks and punches to the bag. Star had clapped, Cy had cheered, and even Raven looked a bit impressed. Beastboy had looked at Robin and smiled with mischief, then yawned theatrically. "Borrrring!" He'd said. Still smiling, he'd shifted into the form of an ape and slugged the bag impressively. The chain holding it from the ceiling broke and it flew across the room. "No applause, no applause, please!" The changeling stated as he changed back to his normal form and bowed. No one was quite sure what to do, but the whole thing struck Robin as funny, so for one few times they could remember, he just started laughing and Cyborg smiled at the prank. Star didn't really get the joke and Raven couldn't safely feel such emotions, so she simply looked at Beastboy with a strange smirk on her face as if she was amused and annoyed at him at the same time.

_The issue is Slade's mind and his money. _Robin thought with distaste that anytime there were robots or other highly technological devices running on their own that it was a good bet that Slade was behind it. Not only that, he could hire or force people or creatures to fight for him._ Damn puppet master._

Robin smiled viciously. _He may be tough, but he's not unstoppable._ Robin thought about how Slade rarely wanted to get involved himself.

_He keeps everyone away that he thinks is a threat._ A new revelation hit Robin in the face, simple, but mind-blowingly profound.

Slade was a coward.

Robin couldn't accept the idea, at first. Slade seemed so confident, in control of everything that happened. Then, he slowly saw the reality of the situation.

_Slade only seems so unbeatable when he has the advantage of information,_ Robin mused to himself. _When something happens that he didn't predict, he goes to pieces. _He thought about how Beastboy had almost killed Slade when the team was trying to rescue Robin.

_Slade holds Beastboy in open contempt, yet he almost ended up torn to shreds by him,_ Robin thought to himself._ Nevertheless, Slade is deadly when he knows the score._

Beastboy was starting to look drowsy, the food having restored him and seemingly mellowing him out. He still hadn't had more than a third of his soymilk, and that gave Robin an idea.

Robin got up, and rifled through the pantry. He was also digging into his utility belt for a sleep enzyme he rarely had a reason to use. When he found the vial in his belt, he pulled the bag of potato chips that he was looking for out of the cupboard. _Good thing the enzyme doesn't taste like anything, or this probably wouldn't work._ Robin inwardly cursed at the necessity for this, but he couldn't risk Beastboy waking up early. Robin absently reached in the bag for a few chips, and walked back to the table. As he was munching, he unobtrusively blocked the view to the glass of soymilk by silently offering Beastboy some. Beastboy brightened and reached in deep for a bunch of chips, and as he did, Robin dumped the vial into Beastboy's glass.

Robin took the bag of chips back to his seat, and decided to wait for a few minutes before telling Beastboy what he was going to do. Cyborg would be home soon, but Robin was confident that Beastboy would be on his way to bed soon, even without the added extra ingredient in his drink.

As predicted, Beastboy ate a few of the salty chips, and took a drink from his glass. "Ah, full of soy goodness!" Beastboy exclaimed. Robin smiled slightly, but was inwardly was relieved that Beastboy hadn't noticed him spiking his drink. As Beastboy finished his final burger and some of the chips, he finished the milk in one swallow. _This is it,_ Robin thought to himself. _Let's see how he takes this. Hopefully, he'll swallow it, and go to bed without starting a fight with me._

"Ok, Beastboy, let's throw the cards on the table," Robin began. Beastboy didn't seem as focused as before. "You want to go after Terra, right?" Beastboy nodded. "Assuming you find her, what will you do?"

"I dunno," Beastboy answered uncertainly "I just know that if we don't do anything, it will be worse than if we don't try." Beastboy seemed to focus again. "At the very worst, she needs to be warned. I don't know. It seemed to make sense earlier..." Beastboy seemed confused, and not able to finish his thoughts.

"Look, Beastboy, I need to think about this," Robin started "We need you here, but Slade almost destroyed us once because we didn't see what he was doing." Robin sized him up, and decided he could safely push a bit. "Why don't you get some sleep? Raven said you were up all last night. Hopefully, I can have an answer for you in the morning." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had pushed too far.

"Dude! You don't need me here!" Beastboy suddenly shouted. "I'm not an important member of this team." He flushed with shame. "I cause more trouble here than I solve."

"That's not true Beastboy!" Robin almost shouted, and his words were sincere. "We need you! You are part of this team!." Robin paused, and decided that Beastboy needed to know about the attack the other day. "The HIVE attacked two days ago." Robin said quietly.

Beastboy looked at him is shock. "You didn't tell me!" Beastboy started in rage, but the look on Robin's face stole his anger. "What happened?" He asked just as quietly.

"Cyborg was knocked out cold for two hours. Raven almost killed Gizmo, and Mammoth used me as a punching bag." Robin stated bluntly, but in the same quiet voice. "Jinx was trying to destroy the main bridge. We still don't know what they were up to. Almost certainly, Slade gave the order. We stopped them, but we needed your help." Robin finished.

Beastboy looked like he was going to be sick. "You see my Dilemma, Beastboy?" Robin asked "Slade isn't going to stop his operations this time. If he figures out that you are looking for Terra, Slade might even send people to attack the tower." He gave Beastboy a significant glance. "He might have sent HIVE out simply to see if you were still around." Robin looked serious. "If you go after Terra, you might have to fight Slade for her. Are you prepared to do that?"

Beastboy looked glum. "I'd rather have you with me if I have to fight Slade." Beastboy looked up. "But this is important, Robin! We didn't have any way of fighting the nanobots that Slade put in us, but we came anyway." Beastboy finished lamely.

Robin looked at him, and the clock. Cyborg would be home in just minutes. It was time to get Beastboy to bed. "Look BB, I have to think about this. Now that you know what's going on too, you'll have to decide what to do. Check with me in the morning. Do you want me to let you know if there are any emergencies?"

Beastboy suddenly yawned titanically. "I don't know how mu.c..h...g..o..o...d..." Beastboy trailed off with another huge yawn.

Robin was inwardly relieved. The enzyme and his lack of sleep had finally caught up with him. Robin sized him up, and figured that he would be out like a light in about a minute.

Robin quietly ran off the Raven's room. As he knocked on the door, he heard the girls chatting quietly inside. He idly wondered what there were talking about.

_

* * *

_

_Earlier, In Raven's room:_

Raven and Starfire were busy painting. They were painting the opening scene from Raven's mirror. Although Raven had shown her the mirror, she had not revealed that the scenes were from her own mind. It was better that Starfire thought it was a scrying mirror, rather than a gateway to her mind and feelings.

Starfire, as usual, wanted to paint the scene with colors that were too bright.

"No Star," Raven began with her usual monotone voice "Nothing brighter than the dark reddish glow."

"But friend Raven! Brighter colors would set a more positive mood!" Starfire said with conviction.

Raven winced. Maybe her mind could do with a bit more cheer, but she had responsibilities. Her powers were too dangerous if she let her emotions have free-rein. She found the negative emotions easier to control. If she was happy, she tended to easily get out of hand. If she was bitter, she could partial out that bitterness in small quantities, easily controlled. And with her empathy, bitterness came easily. She felt the moods of the people around her. It made her insanely jealous to feel the tenderness and desire that Starfire and Robin felt for each other. Strangely, though, Starfire's friendship helped her to deal with that. Starfire loved with her entire being, and she felt that love directed toward her when they spent time together.

"I can see that my suggestion does not make you happy, Raven." Starfire said with a downcast expression. "I will abide by your wishes..."

Raven looked at her. "I'm sorry, Star." She sighed and took a deep breath. "I'm having trouble focusing. I should probably go meditate. Don't touch anything else, but you can work on the painting for as long as you want." Raven started to get up, but Star flew over to her.

"Friend Raven, why are you so troubled?" Starfire asked in concern.

"I don't want to talk about it." Came the flat answer.

"I am concerned for you..." Starfire started

Raven sighed. This wasn't going to be good, but she was sure that Starfire wouldn't stop pestering her, short of throwing her out of the room.

"Are you worried about Beastboy?" Starfire asked.

"NO!" Raven burst out. She quickly regained control. "That fuzz ball better get out of his slump soon." She tried to cover, but Starfire suddenly was looking at her peculiarly.

"I do not understand Beastboy's condition," Starfire started. "I, too am sad that Terra did not choose to stay. You were not as sad to see Terra go, and yet I feel that you are still sad. Why is that?"

"People come, people go. That's just how it is." Raven regretted the quote the second she said it. She had said that when Cyborg had quit the Titans, and broken quite a few technological items that day. No one was fooled by her callous act.

Starfire was looking at her penetratingly. Then she laughed like the peals of a small silver bell. "You are in love with Beastboy, aren't you?"

Raven glared at her. Starfire stopped laughing, and wondered why Raven looked so angry. "Star, I'm going to count to ten, and hopefully I won't still want to hurt you by then."

Star wasn't sure that she liked hitting this button on Raven. She had the thought that she should leave, but she still felt like she should help Raven with her problem.

Raven slowly counted to ten, and one of her statues flew across the room. As she reached ten, she realized that Star probably didn't know what was going on, and hadn't meant to throw this in her face.

"Star, listen carefully," She began, still tense all over. "Do you remember when you were in my body, and you were blowing things up when you felt something strongly?" Starfire carefully nodded. "That will never go away in me. I can meditate from now until the end of eternity, and I will still never be able to feel emotions strongly. I can feel friendship to you, in a limited fashion. I can be slightly angry. I can feel calm."

"I almost killed Dr. Light when my hate was strong. What will happen if I let go and love someone?" Raven's words were calm, but tears appeared in her eyes, and the light bulbs shattered.

"And in the greatest cosmic joke ever, Beastboy loves Terra anyway." Raven finished bitterly

Starfire didn't know what to say. The abrupt darkness from the now destroyed light bulbs was unsettling, but she felt that it might help Raven get this off her chest.

"Has Beastboy shown interest in you?" Star asked gently.

"A few times," Her voice shaking with suppressed sobs. Random items whirled around the room. "I can't encourage him, though. I can't love him or anyone!" The dam burst, and she was suddenly crying with deep, wracking sobs.

The items in the air whirled, and some of them crashed against the walls, and one or two went straight through the canvas of their painting. Starfire went to her friend and hugged her gently. Raven was a wet noodle in her arms, her usual façade of strength and determination gone.

"Beastboy is doing what he is because he's in love, Star" Raven said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "That's why he's been acting so strangely for the last few days." She was regaining control rapidly _He's one of the only people who treated me as a normal girl, and he's one of the few people I'll put up with who does stupid things. _She pulled herself out of Starfire's hug, but felt the hurt from Starfire. "Star, I'm grateful that you were here to help me, but I don't feel comfortable." Raven winced. That didn't come out well.

Starfire disengaged herself, but didn't move away. Star pursed her lips, and decided to gamble. "Raven, I do not know if Robin likes me, but I do not give up hope that he will. He shows me interest in a way that is not normal for my people. We demonstrate affection in large ways. Robin demonstrates in small ways that are not easy to be certain of. Perhaps Beastboy does love you, but does not show it in ways that are easily seen."

Raven started at Star, and was touched by her openness. She suppressed the urge to say something sarcastic. Raven saw that Star's admission had been costly. She looked as upset when she had entered.

"I appreciate you trying to help me. You shouldn't worry about Robin. He likes you a lot. He's just clumsy when it comes to his feelings." Raven responded. She sighed bitterly. "Beastboy couldn't be more in love with Terra, though."

"If he is in love with Terra, why is he so sick?" Starfire asked

Raven pondered several ways to answer. She decided not to bring up the whole thing with Robin and Slade. "Star, you were upset when your sister, Blackfire, framed you for stealing that emerald colored moon-diamond, right?"

Star's eyes dimmed momentarily. "I was more upset that all of you liked Blackfire more than me..."

Raven looked at Star, a bit shocked. "I like you a lot more than Blackfire, Star." Raven stated "But that's a good example. What Beastboy is going through is probably like what you felt about Robin not liking you."

Star's eyes showed comprehension. She'd felt the worst agony imaginable when she had decided to leave. Having Robin stop her on the roof had been like a healing kiss.

Starfire looked at Raven, and asked sadly "Will Beastboy leave us, now?"

Raven looked at Starfire, rocked to the core. "Why would he do that, Star?

Starfire looked at her curiously. "Would you not follow the person you love?"

Raven didn't have an answer. And then there was a knock at her door.

* * *

The door slid open slightly, and two penetrating blue eyes greeted Robin. "What?" Raven asked in her usual bad-tempered voice.

"I need Starfire to carry Beastboy to his room, and I need you to seal it afterward." Robin said, his tone all business.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "What did you do? Drug him?" She asked in her deadpan monotone. Robin knew she was making a sarcastic joke, but her accuracy in this case was just creepy.

"Actually, I did." Robin confessed. Raven looked shocked. "We all need to talk, and Beastboy doesn't need to wander in or eavesdrop on us."

Raven looked a little worried. "Is it that serious?" She asked.

"You tell me. When was the last time Beastboy shifted into saber-toothed tiger and scared all of us?" Robin countered.

Raven chewed her lower lip. "I've never been scared of the little green elf before." She quietly admitted. "Starfire!" She stage-whispered to the redheaded Tamaranian in her room. "Go get Beastboy and put him in his room! I'll meet you there."

Star came out looking a bit upset and preoccupied, but she brightened a bit as she saw Robin. Her expression dimmed when she saw how serious Robin was. "Beast Boy has not worsened, has he?" Starfire asked with deep concern.

Robin looked at her sympathetically. "No, Star. He might even be better. I'll tell you more after you put him to bed."

Starfire looked at him quizzically. "Why should not you or Raven put him to bed?"

"Because he trusts you more than anyone right now," Robin stated. "He might freak out if he wakes up with someone else carrying him. You've done everything you can to help him, and I know he appreciates it."

Starfire brightened, and headed down to the kitchen. She still couldn't shake the feeling that all was not well, however. Robin's look was not the look of someone who's friend was sick, but now was well. It was a look similar to when Slade had insulted him.

Robin and Raven walked the short distance to Beastboy's room. They were silent as they traveled, two ghosts on a mission. Raven shuddered when she reached Beastboy's room. "I'm not going in there," She declared. "He probably hasn't cleaned since we kicked HIVE out of the tower and the cleaners came through."

Robin grinned at her, and opened the door. The condition inside shocked even him.

It was clean.

"Well, it's confirmed. Beastboy is definitely not himself right now!" Robin declared.

Raven looked at him. "What are you talking about?" She started, but then she saw in the room. There was a big box in a corner with some junk in it, but it did seem that he had tried to clean up. Raven pursed her lips. "I'm not sure if it's good or bad that he cleaned," Raven said finally. She looked at the stuffed animals and little kids toys he had, and wondered about the savage Beastboy she had seen not a half an hour ago. She wandered over to his bed and took a seat on the top bunk.

* * *

Meanwhile, Starfire flew down the stairs to the kitchen. She found Beastboy sound asleep in his chair, with his head resting on his forearm. She gently gathered him up, and turned her nose up at his smell. _He has not slept for days, and it is unlikely that he bathed. If indeed he is well now, I must force him wash tomorrow,_ She thought to herself. The thought of forcing him to take a bubble bath with her pink bubble soap brought a big smile to her face. The concept of "Payback" that Robin had tried to explain the other day suddenly made sense to her. It would be great fun, and the perfect punishment for that oil balloon he had mistakenly attacked her with all that time ago.

She flew up to his room, and found Robin and Raven already inside. Raven was playing with a stuffed lion on Beastboy's bed, and Robin was leaning against the wall in deep thought. She felt her usual surge of jealousy when she found the two alone, but there didn't seem to be anything going on between the two of them. It worried her how well the two of them seemed right together sometimes, but she also remembered the talk she had with Raven, and decided that it wasn't a problem right now. "I have him." She said quietly.

Raven looked up, and made room on the bed. She pulled the sheet back, and Starfire slid Beastboy under the covers. Luckily, Beastboy didn't like wearing shoes in the tower.

The three of them glided out, and as the door closed, the room took on an eerie black aura. Raven's power sealed the room, and not a sound was heard inside.


	4. Hard Choices

Hi Everyone! As you might have noticed, I finally have some time to work on my favorite project. I'd post this anyway, but any reviews are highly valuable. Let me know if you like this, or if you don't. I'm new at this, and any constructive criticism will help me write a better story.

As always, I do not own the Teen Titans.

_

* * *

Chapter Three: Hard Choices _

Cyborg left the Pizzeria, scowling. _First they toss me out of the Tower on an errand, and then they forget to call in the order! _Cyborg shook his head as he walked back to the T-Car. All of this after they had deserted the Tower all day to give Beastboy space, and then the little green jerk had the gall to almost attack him! Cyborg shook his head again. There were days where he didn't know why he was a Titan anyway.

That's not right. All of the Titans are good friends. They'd do the same for me as they're doing for Beastboy. They already did, when my batteries failed. Robin did his best to send me home for repairs. He mentally sighed. He wished fixing Beastboy was as simple a matter as changing a battery. None of them was getting through to him. It was almost frightening to hear his outburst earlier today. He hadn't spoken in more than mumbles in the last few days, once he stopped skipping stones on the icy water of the bay.

As Cyborg sped along the road toward home. As he helped himself to the cinnamon sticks, He couldn't help thinking that something bad was going to happen. Beastboy seemed to have come to some sort of decision when he yelled about "Not thinking about it anymore." The fact that Beastboy had flipped at his comment about a girlfriend narrowed it down to three contestants.

He mentally scratched Starfire off the list. Beastboy would have been embarrassed by her fussing over him. Raven was a possibility, but then why had he gotten so upset? Both Raven and Beastboy had been looking at each other a certain way during the battle in Raven's mind, but since then neither had made more than cursory passes at each other.

Nope, as much as he didn't want it to be, Terra was the answer. Beastboy had decided he was serious about her, apparently. Nothing else warranted his action. Cyborg blew a long sigh. He felt better knowing the reason for BB's weird behavior, but it was like a Pandora's box had been opened. _This is just the beginning…who knows what problems this will cause._ Cyborg wasn't sure how Raven was going to take this. Hell, he didn't know how he was taking this either. It was ok in theory to take Terra in, but it was causing real problems in the dynamics of the group. _We all depend on each other. We were growing closer after each battle. This may wreck all of that._

_It would be wrong to deny Terra's need, though._ Cyborg mentally pictured the gentle girl who had come to the Tower expecting at any moment to be thrown out. It made him sad to see how skittish she was. Sure, she was probably a wild freeloader- but that put her in good company with the Titans. Cyborg grinned. It had been too long since they had a party. They needed to have one as soon as things got better.

He had been driving on autopilot, and found himself in the garage. After some grumbling to himself about not having anyone to help bring the food in, he headed to the elevator.

_

* * *

_

Robin, Starfire and Raven silently walked back to the main room. Robin seemed remote, as if pondering a difficult question. The other two simply followed him, wondering what this was all about. The "ding" of the elevator cut through the silence.

"I have the pizza, Y'all!" Cyborg began in his usual cheerful voice "But you guys forgot to call it in! That's why I'm so late!"

As he stepped through the archway, he saw the others walking in from the side door. Robin's pensive expression and the uncharacteristically silent Starfire set alarm bells going off in Cyborg's head. Raven silently walked up and took the pizzas from him, and brought them to the kitchen. Robin took a seat, as did Starfire. As Raven divvied up the pizza and breadsticks on to plates, Cyborg just looked at them.

"What's going on? You guys look like you've been to a funeral. Where's BB?" Cyborg asked in puzzlement.

Robin still looked preoccupied, but his eyes focused for a moment. "We just put Beastboy to bed. He told me something disturbing after his episode with you. Consider this a general meeting."

Starfire looked like she wanted to say something, but she stifled it. Robin noticed, and looked at her reassuringly. "Let's wait for Raven to finish plating the food. Thank you for doing that for us, by the way!" Robin called to Raven.

Raven threw the hood of her cloak back, and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "It was the logical thing to do," She said casually. "I'm not bringing it to you guys, though. You can come get it from the bar."

The other three Titans walked over to the bar, and grabbed their plates. Robin had pepperoni, Cyborg had his super meat-lovers, and Star was trying out Raven's spinach and feta pizza. Robin headed back to the table, but Raven spoke up.

"I think we should have the meeting on the couch." The others looked at Raven as if she had grown a new head. She gave them a long-suffering look. "Look, we're already tense. We don't need to get any more emotional about this."

Robin looked around, and decided that things _were_ hard enough already. He hopped onto the couch, and started eating a slice of pizza. The others glared at him. "I'm not stalling. Really. Let's eat a bit, then I'll tell you what happened." Robin took a few bites. "Personally, I'm starved!"

After a few slices of pizza, some garlic bread and a lot of soda, they were all feeling more relaxed. Robin put his plate down on the floor, and the others glanced at him expectantly.

"Alright, Titans. We have a big decision to make." Robin started, and then paused. "All of us know how Beastboy has been acting. We know that he's been depressive and moody."

"Today we had to leave because he was still on the couch, after staying awake there all night, thinking or simply blank-minded."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "What's the point of this restating, Robin? We've all been trying to help Beastboy."

Robin wasn't surprised by the interruption. "I know, Raven. But we have to know all of the facts in this case."

Cyborg looked at Robin as if he had turned into a monster. "We're not accusing BB of a crime are we?"

Robin looked at him in shock. Then he laughed. "No. Beastboy hasn't done anything yet. But he's asked me for something, and it concerns all of us."

The others seemed content to let him continue. "Probably due to his state of mind, Beastboy has been doing things that are strange, even for him. His lashing out at Cyborg was just one example." Robin continued. "From this standpoint, I am extremely reluctant to lend any credibility to him or let him out of our sight."

"But…?" Raven summed up the question on the other Titans' minds.

"But Beastboy told me about a disturbing revelation he had. I would have dismissed it as his mind trying to grab onto something, but it neatly explains a lot of questions that have gone unanswered for the last week." Robin paused "We never figured out what Slade was attempting to do in the mine. Nothing was stolen, and he didn't leave anything behind. If you don't count the damage, you'd never know he was there.

"Beastboy thinks that Terra was Slade's objective the whole time."

Cyborg's gut wrenched. This is what he was afraid of. _That little green fuzz ball is planning on fighting Slade! No wonder he was so upset! _Cyborg felt a rush of fear for his friend. Playing with Slade was like playing with a nuclear reactor. Cyborg looked at the two girls, and found similarly distressed expressions. Star, in particular, looked like she was going to be sick. _No big surprise there. She almost lost Robin to Slade, and now She finds out that Terra might be a target, and that Beastboy might try and get in the way._

"We don't know what happened in the mine. Beastboy either doesn't know or won't tell us what he found when he went looking for Terra." Robin thoughtfully sipped his soda. "I'm of two minds about this."

Robin raised his index finger. "One, Beastboy is still lost in the depression, and is grasping at straws. We can't let him leave the tower if this is the case."

Robin raised his middle finger. "Two, Beastboy has figured out Slade's master-plan. If this is the case, we have to do everything we can to stop Slade."

Raven looked upset. "You said that Beastboy asked you for something. What was it?"

"Beastboy wants to go find Terra and bring her back, or at least warn her." Robin said. "I don't like that plan at all. There are too many things that could go wrong." Robin chewed thoughtfully on a breadstick. "One of the bigger problems we have to deal with is the problem of Beastboy not being able to help us. If he's still messed up emotionally, he can't help us on the streets. If he goes after Terra, Slade may kill him."

* * *

Cyborg looked reluctant to speak up, but eventually did. "We can close ranks until he's ready to fight again." Cyborg said doubtfully.

Starfire spoke up "Robin, did you not tell me that Beastboy might be recovered from his ailment?"

Robin looked at her, not knowing where this was going. "Yeah. He might be, but he could be even more sick than before."

Starfire's eyes dimmed momentarily, but she continued "Perhaps if you ask him to come with us when we must stop a criminal, you will have your answer when you see how well he performs."

Robin looked at her in admiration. _This will neatly fix the problem if Slade watching us._ He paused _There are good reasons why Beastboy could be wrong, but I think He's is right about this. _He paused again _I'll have an answer as soon as we have to go to the city. _"I like Star's idea. Does anyone object?"

Raven looked at him as if he was insane. "Robin, Beastboy is dangerous enough to us when he is his 'normal self.' It's not his fault that his tactics don't always work, but he invariably gets thrown at us when he makes a mistake." Raven visibly shuddered "I still remember when Cinderblock hit him and he landed on me. What will he be like if he's unstable?"

Cyborg was staring into space thoughtfully. "I have to agree with Raven. I've heard about how weird emotional states can affect how you see danger. He could freak out and hide, or he could be totally fearless and get hurt badly."

"Ok, we'll throw that one out. Any other ways of telling what's going on in his head?" Robin asked.

Raven looked uncomfortable. "I have a way, and if we really need to know, I'll do it." Raven said hesitantly.

* * *

The others looked at her in concern. "What will be your method?" Starfire asked worriedly.

Raven's face turned mask-like. She realized that the events of the day and the fact that she hadn't meditated in almost twenty-four hours were making her normal control slip. It wasn't just her powers that she was concerned about. It was good to be inscrutable, especially in this case. "It won't hurt Beastboy, but he may be angry with me afterwards." The chill words slipped from her mouth. She had regained her icy control. "The question is, do we need to know if he is stable?"

Robin blew a long sigh. "We do need to know. If Beastboy's come out of his depression, We need to consider the validity of Beastboy's assertion. If Slade's objective _is_ Terra, we need do something to help Her. If Beastboy is still messed up, we need to get some professional help for him before he runs off and gets himself killed on a fool's errand."

Raven was glad that her face was a mask. She really didn't want to use her power on Beastboy, but it looked like this was too important not to. _Damn Terra to the fires of Azarath! _She thought furiously. _That girl causes me nothing but trouble!_ One of the nearby view screens cracked. "I'll do it in the morning when he wakes up. I won't be able to help you for the rest of the day, though." Raven saw the questions coming, and she held her hand up. "No questions, and Starfire stands guard while I do it." Raven's voice hardened "And no one else will be there to watch, is that clear?"

Robin nodded, and turned to her. "If this wasn't so important, I wouldn't ask you to do it. Star, Cyborg? What do you think?"

Starfire's eyes were still dim. "I am concerned about Beastboy, but I am now also concerned about Terra. If Slade has plans for her, what will we do about them?"

Cyborg looked glum, but spoke up. "We can't be sure until Raven tests BB. He might be way off. I hope."

Robin looked slightly relieved, but he knew this wasn't over yet. Either way, hard choices were ahead. _You can't just check a super-hero into a psych ward, and if Slade is after Terra, he's got a huge lead on us._ Robin sighed. He didn't know which option he hoped it would be. _I want Beastboy to be ok, but I want him to be wrong about Slade._

"Too bad wishes don't always come true." He could almost hear Bruce saying. It was an ominous quote. Bruce had said it after Robin had asked about Catwoman.

"Alright, Titans. We have a big day tomorrow. Raven, make any preparations you need to, and drop the shield on Beastboy's room. We can't have you being a walking zombie tomorrow. Cyborg and I will patrol the city in the morning, so don't worry about us being around." Cyborg didn't look thrilled about the prospect, but nodded anyway. Raven looked gratefully. Starfire stood up.

"I must attend to Beastboy." She said quietly.

Robin also stood up. "That's not necessary, Star. He finally ate something, and I gave him something to make him sleep. He won't wake up until mid-morning tomorrow. You and Raven should get some sleep." He smiled tenderly at her. "You've been up way too much this week watching Beastboy. Take some time out."

Raven headed to the roof access. It was just sunset, and the outside air was still warm. "I'll be on the roof, meditating. Anyone who interrupts me gets my dish duty for the week."

Star flew to her room, massively yawning. "Thank you, Robin. I shall go to 'sew logs' as you say." Her flight was unsteady, and she brushed against to doorframe as she left.

Cyborg looked a Robin. "Why didn't you tell her it was 'Sawing logs'? She hates it when you don't correct her."

Robin looked at him closely to see if he was joking. "I'm assuming you're serious, right?" Cy nodded. "Star has slept about as much as Beastboy in the last few days. Her heart is bigger than her need to tend to herself." Robin said the last in a strange mixture or admiration and frustration.

Cy looked at him closely. "Aren't you jealous of all of the attention she's been giving Beastboy?"

Robin looked at him. "Why should I be? Beastboy's been dead to the world until today. He probably didn't notice, except on some deeper level. Besides, he's never really gotten along with her well, and vice-versa. I'm kinda glad to see some kind of acceptance of the other in each of them."

"Enough with the psychoanalysis. Care to play?" Robin asked, making an inviting gesture at the gamestation. Cy's eyes brightened, and he nodded enthusiastically. He went back into the kitchen for more pizza, and brought the two boxes with their pizzas back to the couch along with a bottle of soda.

"You're on, but you know you're up against the best, right?" Cy asked slyly

"Bring it on, Tin Man!" Robin playfully taunted.

The night watch passed without incident.


	5. The Calm Before the Storm

A/N: Hi everyone! I have to admit to writer's block. I think I'm past it, but forgive me if it strikes again. I wanted this chapter to be longer, but if I go into the next scene, we'd have another chapter tacked on. Oh, well. Enjoy, and expect the next chapter soon!(BTW, we are starting to get to the action part :P )

As always, I do not own the Teen Titans.

Chapter Five: The Calm Before the Storm

Raven woke the next morning very gradually. She glanced at her clock, and the antique showed that it was slightly after eight. _'I hope it's morning.'_ She held her head in her hands, still very groggy. _'The way I slept, it could be evening.'_ She yawned broadly, glancing at the black draped window, seeing golden light around the edges. _'Good, it's only morning.' _She considered going back to sleep. Robin had said that the drug he had given Beastboy shouldn't wear off until mid-morning, but she needed to meditate. She had given up twenty minutes into it last night because she was starting to fall asleep.

'Either I'm getting lazy, or last week was worse than I thought.' Raven stretched and rubbed her eyes. _'I need herbal tea.'_

Raven forced herself to get up and to go to her bathroom. As she splashed water on her face, she started to feel a bit more awake. _'Good thing I forced that deal with Robin. I doubt I'll need the rest of the day off, but I could sure use it.'_ She forced herself not to think about what could go wrong with what she agreed to do. Using her power to get into someone else's mind and feelings was an unbelievable risk- true Russian Roulette. If Beastboy was fine, the risk was minimal. If he was suffering from any kind of mental illness, she would likely end up with the same thing, with virtually no chance to cure it. She shuddered at the thought.

As she made her way to the kitchen, she noticed that the Tower was surreally silent. _'I guess the boys are out patrolling. Not that it's really necessary, but a nice gesture on Robin's part.' _As she thought about it, it was more likely that they were out having breakfast or running on the beach. _'So what. They're out from underfoot, and probably won't return until sunset. These are about the best conditions I could ask for.'_

As Raven put a pot of water on for tea, she noticed her stomach growling at her. _'Fine! If you really need it that badly, I'll feed you!'_ Raven's sarcastic reply to her stomach was nothing new. Her demonic heritage meant that she could get away with eating far less than what a normal person would need. She found eating a chore, really.

Raven took a peek into the fridge, and saw all of the new food they had bought yesterday. _'At least my stomach bugged me when there is something worth eating this time.' _She took out a carton of eggs, butter, some French bread and some strawberries. She felt an absurd craving wash over her, and she looked in the cupboards for some powdered sugar. _'Ah. First and only time I'll find everything I need.'_

Raven took a quart of milk out of the fridge, and got out a shallow mixing bowl. _'Who knows why I let the others teach me these things, but at least this idea is simple.'_ Cyborg taught her to make French toast a few weeks ago, and she had liked it. _'Too much bacon, of course,'_ she thought acidly _'but what else can you expect from him.'_ She cracked a few eggs on the side of the bowl, mixed the eggs and milk together, and went looking for vanilla and cinnamon. _'Maybe this idea isn't so simple after all.'_ Her mind said, "waste of time," but her stomach hadn't stopped purring in anticipation. Her stomach won. She found an almost empty container of cinnamon and a never-used bottle of vanilla. 

Raven suddenly realized that she was still in her nightdress. She flushed crimson, and one of the eggs in the carton cracked. _'Calm down!' _She told herself fiercely. _'Starfire won't care if she sees me like this, and Beastboy is likely to be dead to the world until eleven.'_ She knew she should have gone straight to meditating, but with her level of awareness, she'd probably have gone on the roof dressed like this.

'Calm. Quiet. Peace. Focus.' Raven closed her eyes. "Azarath," she said calmly"Metrion," she continued "Zinthos." She found herself calmed. She looked at the egg that she had inadvertently cracked. _'Oh, well. I'd better use it.'_ She mixed the extra egg into the mix, and added the rest of the ingredients in proper proportions. She found the act of cooking to be calming. It appealed to her logical mind. As she heated up a frying pan, she cut two six-inch sections off the French bread, and cut them in half horizontally as if she were making a sandwich. _'Cyborg showed me how to do this with bacon grease,'_ Raven shuddered _'but I really don't like bacon. I'll have to guess how much butter to use instead.'_ She stared at the stick of butter, and finally settled on a tablespoon. She was soaking the bread in the egg mix when her teakettle started whistling. She looked at it in distaste. She'd forgotten about her tea. _'Just this once, I'm going to have junk food. I may not be sane by the end of the day,'_ came the bitter thought. _'And if I get my hands on Terra or Slade, whoever forced this choice on me is DEAD!' _

She took the kettle off the stove and dumped it out. She continued making the French toast, and took some time to find some ice cream. By the time she was done, she had four slices of French toast and a blender full of strawberry milkshake. She even managed to have everything cleaned up by the time she was finished. _'Cyborg owes me dish duty. It was his turn this morning.'_

As she dusted powdered sugar over the buttered French toast, she heard someone coming down the hall. _'No footsteps. Good, Star's awake.'_ She poured some milkshake, and walked over to the window with her meal. The morning was glorious. Not a cloud in the sky. Raven smiled as she sipped her milkshake. She hoped this was a good omen.

Star flew into the room unsteadily, rubbing her eyes. "Good day to you, friend Raven!" Starfire exclaimed when she saw Raven eating by the window.

Raven carefully finished the French toast she was chewing, and swallowed. "Good morning, Starfire. Would you like some breakfast? I have some left over." She looked closely at the red-headed alien. "Did you catch up on your sleep?"

Starfire stretched hugely. "Yes, friend Raven. I have…'caught up,' is that the term?" She looked uncertainly at Raven, but Raven nodded calmly back to her. "I would very much like to share a meal with you, friend." Starfire said with bright eyes.

Raven was slightly embarrassed, but she remembered that the others weren't around. She smiled to Starfire, and pointed to the kitchen. "French toast on the plate, and a drink I think you'll like in the blender. Help yourself."

__

As Starfire was helping herself to food, Raven noticed that Star wasn't really dressed for company either. It was odd not having all the boys around for once. Peaceful and quiet, just as she liked it. With both of them in sleeping clothes, there was a strange casualness in the air and Raven didn't feel the tense alertness that usually pervaded her being. Robin and Cyborg said that they'd take care of things this morning. Raven sighed in contentment.

Starfire wandered over to the window with her food, and sat in a pool of sunlight. Her pink pajamas reflected most of the light. She, too was feeling better than usual. After sleeping more than twelve hours, she felt alert and fit after her initial drowsiness wore off. The day was warm and full of promise. The only thing bothering her was this mysterious "test" Raven was going to perform on Beastboy. She sensed that Raven had downplayed the risks. _'I must also perform my "payback" on Beastboy this morning.' _An eager grin spread across her face.

Raven noticed the slightly evil smile. "What has you so amused, Star?"

Star looked at Raven, and something clicked in her brilliant mind. She smiled even more evilly. "Friend Raven, would you like to care to assist me in a 'prank'?"

Raven sipped her milkshake thoughtfully. _'A prank?! I thought Starfire hated that kind of behavior.'_ "I find that sort of thing to be a waste of time. Why do you want my help?" Raven asked coolly.

"I thought that you might wish to be involved. I wish to give Beastboy a bath with my pink bubble soap. It is what Robin called a "payback" for soaking me with oil." Starfire smiled brightly.

Raven stared at her in shock. _'Am I talking to the real Starfire…?'_

Any other day, she would have tossed the idea of the prank as being impractical and stupid. Raven's attitude of "I may as well, before I go insane" was still in place though, and on a more practical note, a clean Beastboy would be a vast improvement when she tested him. Raven smiled an identical evil smile.

"That sounds interesting. I think you should put some pretty pink bows on him, too." Raven answered in her usual monotone, but her eyes were bright. "And take a few pictures."

"Oh, a glorious idea, dearest friend Raven." Starfire's eyes burned bright emerald green. She took a bite of French toast. "We are agreed to do this as soon as he awakens?"

Raven stared into space momentary. _'He's had enough to eat, so it's probably safe to do this to him immediately.'_ Raven glanced at the clock. Nine-thirty. _'Geez. Where does the time go.' _"Sure. We'll give him half an hour of beauty sleep, and then we'll ambush him in his room. I doubt he'll be up, but we'll wait there." Raven paused. "Do you want to wash him in his bathroom?"

Starfire blanched. "No, no, no! I will carry him to my room. I have no wish to see his place of bathing at all!"

_'Good point,'_ Raven thought to herself. She also thought about showering and changing into her uniform, but Beastboy was likely to resist and get them wet. Her powers would help with that, and Starfire was strong enough to manhandle him into the bath. This was fitting together more tightly. No wonder Star seemed so happy when Raven agreed to join. Raven started having modesty issues at that point, but she tossed them into her "Who cares today?" box.

As Raven and Starfire finished eating, Raven gave some thought to the odd behaviors she was giving way to today. She noticed that her powers weren't acting up as much as usual when she was enjoying herself. She mentally shrugged. Maybe she could reach a bit further now. Once, it was hard for her to go to the mall with Starfire, and now she was agreeing to participate in a prank. Starfire, too, was changing. She seemed to enjoy some of Raven's more subdued amusements, and was becoming calmer, though no less spirited.

_'Maybe I should keep my "Who cares?" box after today. Assuming I'm still sane.' _Raven felt the bitterness and helplessness creeping up on her again. As her face turned mask-like again, Starfire happened to be watching. 

"Friend, why are you upset?" Starfire's face reflected concern. She decided to gamble again. "Is it because of the test you must perform?"

Raven closed her eyes as the sinking feeling settled over her. Her first impulse was to either deny it or lash out at Starfire. _'I must have been a complete idiot last night.' _Raven thought bitterly. _'I should never have shown my uncertainty, or even offered to do it if I can't deal with the risks.'_ Raven looked at Starfire. _'Maybe this will help her understand some things.'_ Raven stared into space thoughtfully, absently moving the French toast around on her plate.

"Star, you can sense what a person is feeling, right?" Raven asked her friend absently.

"Yes, friend Raven. Not always do I feel what another feels, but sometimes I simply know. Other times, I know what a person is feeling because I know why a person feels." Starfire looked a bit confused at the question.

Raven's eyes focused into their normal intensity when she was serious about something. "When I touch a person, I can sometimes feel thoughts. Other times, I get flashes, pictures from their minds." Raven paused. "That's one of the reasons that I prefer not to touch people, or be touched."

Star looked at her uncomprehendingly. "Friend Raven, is that not an incredible gift? I could think of no other power that I do not possess that I would wish to have more. What could be greater than sharing the thoughts and feelings of a friend?"

Raven's eyes flashed in anger. "It's a curse, Starfire!" Raven spat venomously. "Most people are emotional cesspools. Their hates, fears, angers and desires are hidden behind masks. I feel it all when I touch them." She shuddered in disgust. 

"I felt how uncomfortable you were with me anytime you used to hug me, before we switched bodies," Raven continued bitterly. "You used to do it out of reflex, not because you liked me." Raven's eyes glimmered with unshed tears. Raven exerted control, and blinked her almost tears away. "It's only felt ok on a few occasions. It's just easier not to have anyone touch me."

Star felt awful for a moment, and then remembered how Raven had warmed right up to her sister, Blackfire. "I am sorry, friend Raven. Perhaps we are both to blame, however. I forced my behavior on you without fully accepting you, and you pushed me away when I wanted to be your friend." Star's eyes also glimmered with unshed tears. "I would like to think that we are on better terms, now." 

Raven wasn't exactly what you'd call socially adept or empathetic, but she wasn't exactly feeling good about her admission. She reached over and took Starfire's hand in hers. "Star, you have nothing to worry about." Since neither of them were wearing gloves, Raven felt Starfire's concern and worry over this entire chain of events. Flashes of Terra uncertainly flying on her rock, Beastboy eating the pudding of sadness without flinching, Beastboy turning into a saber-tooth tiger, Cyborg flinching behind the couch. Star reeked of sadness and pain. 

Raven bit her lip. Hard. This was a stretch for her, but she knew that she could do it. She moved closer to Starfire, and clumsily hugged her. The hug started tensely and unnaturally, but Raven relaxed after she took the step. Starfire hugged her back, and Raven felt waves of relief and happiness coming from her. Raven felt some of the well-being that she'd felt when she'd woken up return to her. Maybe things weren't so bad. Then the cold iron grip of reality returned. She couldn't shake the fear of testing Beastboy.

Starfire felt Raven go from being relaxed to extremely tense. She carefully moved her hands away from Raven's. "Raven, I am grateful for your comfort. However, you have not explained the risk that the test poses for you. Please share this with me." Starfire looked at Raven, eyes pleading.

Raven felt the shift in Starfire before she removed her hands. She mentally sighed. _'I may as well just tell her. We're just digging up more of our old problems anytime I draw it out or expect her to forget that she asked.'_ Raven always felt more comfortable when they had something to do or an activity they agreed on. There was less chance for Starfire to ask personal questions.

"If I delve into someone's mind, rather than just getting an impression, I feel what they feel. If they are mentally ill, unstable, or in great pain, that becomes a part of me. If they are mad, their madness infects me." Raven said in her straight monotone voice. "I've found that madness, most of all, is poison to me. I can't work through it, because it's not mine. The triggers come from someone else. Remember when I almost killed Dr. Light?" Star nodded. "That is a madness that came from my Father. My powers become out of control, and I feel the need to kill, or at least badly hurt people. If Beastboy has a mental illness, then it's likely that I will, too, after I test him."

Star looked at her, stunned. "You must not perform the test." She declared suddenly.

Raven looked at her wearily. "I wish I didn't have to. Robin's right though. We **have** to know."

"No, friend. The cost is too high. We must test by combat, or not at all."

Raven looked at her with a shocked expression. "Star, the HIVE almost killed us all the other day. We don't have any time left. We have to know, and we can't risk Beastboy in combat." Raven blew a sigh. "I have to risk it. You think Beastboy's better, right?" She asked Star.

Star looked thoughtful. "I think he is, but he is now acting more strangely than before. I do not know what constitutes 'normal' for earth creatures."

Raven finished her milkshake. "Robin thinks he might be better, too. Two votes are better than none." Raven thought about meditating, but tossed the idea. _'We have no time left…'_ The thought clung to her like cold mist.

Raven got up from the floor, taking her dishes with her. "We should start soon." Raven called over her shoulder. Starfire shook herself out of her thoughts. She also brought her dishes to the kitchen area.

"Should we change clothing before waking Beastboy?" Star asked.

Raven's eyes were fierce and cold. "We don't have time, Star." The thought wouldn't leave her. _'There's no time left…'_ "We barely have time to throw him in the bath." 

'I don't care how little time we have. I'm not touching him until he's clean.' A sadistic smile spread across her face. "Run the bath with the pink bath suds and get the ribbons. I'll go get our guest of honor."


	6. The Guest of Honor

A/N: Hi everyone! I was worried that the last chapter just didn't fit in, but it seems to have turned out alright!

Hey Strider! Awesome Review! Please send me an email so that I can properly respond.

Be warned, there is quite a surprise in this chapter. I almost thought about cutting it, but I didn't feel right about it.

Again, this is sort of a short chapter. I prefer to write in blocks of about 3000 words though.

As usual, I do not own anything from Teen Titans

_Chapter 6: The Guest of Honor_

Beastboy stirred and opened his eyes. His room was dark, but the door was open a crack. _'How did I end up here…?'_ Beastboy was bewildered. He was wide awake, but nothing made sense. _'What am I doing here? Was all of this a dream…?'_ He thought back, but the images were blurry, and didn't fit together. _'**Terra!**'_ Beastboy sat bolt upright, and rubbed his eyes.

'Did I dream that a cute blonde girl that liked me was here in the tower?' Beastboy tried to sort his mind out, but it was still foggy. As he pondered this, his room darkened, and then lightened again. _'What was that…'_ As he looked around his room, he saw a chilly pair of blue eyes staring at him. _'Am I still dreaming now?'_

"So, you're awake." Raven's chilly voice cut through the silence. "Are you ready to get up?"

Beastboy looked at Raven dumbfounded. "Why are you here, Raven? You never check on me, let alone come to my room. Am I still dreaming?"

Raven tilted her head to look at him, giving him a peculiar stare. _'The drug Robin gave him must have messed up his sense of reality. Great. As if I didn't have enough to worry about today.'_ Raven pondered the situation as it related to the test. _'I can't test him like this. The residual drug has to come out of his system first.'_

Beastboy watched as Raven seemed to be picking him apart with her eyes. "Beastboy, if I bring you some of the tea I drink, will you promise to drink it all?"

Beastboy looked at her, and again his brain was not really processing right. Hadn't he accepted the herbal tea before? Or was that still part of his dream as well? "Of course! Why wouldn't I?" Beastboy answered, but his uncertainty showed. "Raven, was a blonde girl with the power to control rocks really here?"

Raven stared at him in shock. Then, she was horribly tempted to tell him that it hadn't happened. The whole roller coaster would stop here. Beastboy would shrug it off, and would probably not be depressed anymore. He would chalk it up as a weird dream. No tests, no Beastboy running off to save his girlfriend. All back to normal.

_'You always tell the others to deal with reality. You always tell them that the truth and the past cannot be changed, no matter how much you want it to.' _Came the surprising answer from her conscience. _'And yet you would lie to him about something this important to satisfy your own needs.'_

Raven sighed. It would be easier to lie to him. It would be better for all involved. _'I've always attacked my problems head on. I may lie to myself and others,'_ she mentally choked, but knew it was the truth. _'But not when it mattered. This matters to Beastboy.'_

Raven took a deep breath. "Beastboy, how much do you remember?"

Beastboy scratched his head, but his eyes looked sharper. "It still feels like a dream, but we went to the desert and this girl was there. She said she wanted to join us. She messed up the bathroom, she ate Starfire's fungus, she slept on the couch in a bathrobe…she taught me how to skip stones. Then, Slade was detected in the mine. She came with us. Slade disappeared, and then she did too. I went after her…Robin offered to make her a Titan, and then said something about training. Terra freaked and left.

As Beastboy talked, he seemed to become more sure of himself. "It all happened, Beastboy." Raven answered calmly. "Terra left us about a week ago." Raven paused. _'Depressed people get freaky when you tell them that they haven't been acting normally. I'd better just lead him.'_

"She was angry. She thought that you told us about her problem." Raven found it difficult to continue. "We don't know where she is. We assume she's back in the desert."

Beastboy still felt loopy, but he did his best to follow Raven's words. As his head cleared a little, he noticed something in the not quite darkness.

Raven was wearing just a nightshirt.

_'No way!'_ He mentally shouted. _'I can't possibly be awake! Raven would **never** come in here dressed like that. She wouldn't even leave her room in that!'_ He felt his sense of reality unraveling again. He clutched his head.

"What is it, Beastboy?" Came Raven's flat question, but she was genuinely worried. Beastboy wouldn't lift his head to look at her, so she made her way to his bed. "Beastboy!"

"No! No! I'm still dreaming!" Came Beastboy's surprising answer "This isn't right! You aren't in here checking on me in your nightshirt! You can't be!"

Raven looked at him in amazement, and started to blush. Then, the blush went away in an angry flash. A nearby light bulb exploded. _'How dare he categorize me!' _Raven mentally fumed. Her thoughts after that weren't very coherent, or very complementary to Beastboy.

Meanwhile, Beastboy was staring at the now destroyed light bulb in horror. He dreamed vividly, but not **that** vividly. "You really are here, aren't you, Raven?" Beastboy asked in a half awe, half fright. He started stuttering "Thi…this is…isn't like you." He looked like he wanted to continue, but words failed him.

Raven found herself amused at the way Beastboy was suddenly scared out of his wits. She knew it was cruel, but her "Who cares today box" was still out, and she was going to scare him even more. She was already at his bed, but she took a seat close to him.

Beastboy didn't know what to do. _'This is nuts! Raven is sitting on my bed, one foot from me in a nightshirt!'_ He was actually trembling, but he didn't know if it was fear or anticipation.

Raven leaned forward toward him, and he instinctively shrunk backward. Too bad his headboard was right behind him. _'Eeep! What next!'_ Came Beastboy's frantic thought.

Raven's face was inches from his. "What isn't like me?" Raven breathed the question. "And what do you plan to do about it?"

_'Oh, my god! What does she want me to do?!'_ Beastboy was looking at her in pure terror. _'Wait a minute. What do **I** want to do?'_ Beastboy suddenly thought to himself, and instantly calmed. A surprising answer came to him. _'I want to kiss her.'_

The moment was perfect. Raven was too busy enjoying the moment of terror she had inflicted to notice how Beastboy had calmed. Beastboy leaned forward with an expression of wonder on his face and gently kissed her, touching her cheek with his right hand.

Raven was so stunned, it was as if she had been hit by a bolt of lightning. Beastboy's stuffed animal collection flew across the room, as if hit by hurricane-force winds. Her eyes flew wide open, but Beastboy didn't press his momentary advantage. He withdrew from the kiss with his eyes shining brightly. Raven couldn't tell what the spirit behind the kiss had been. It hadn't been passion, or anything forceful. It had felt like sunshine and butterflies. Could it have been happiness?

Beastboy, for his own part, wasn't sure why he had kissed her. It had just seemed right at the time. It made him feel awesome, however. He felt as if he'd endured weeks of darkness and cold to find the sun shining and the warmth of summer returned. He felt as if all things were possible.

Oddly, the events of the last week flooded back to him. He remembered how all of the Titans had tried to help him after Terra had left, even Ms. "Hands Off" Raven. Then he remembered about the saber-tooth tiger incident. He blushed.

"Ah, Raven?" Beastboy asked sheepishly. Raven was still picking up the pieces of her composure, but managed to nod at him. "I've been a real handful for the last week, haven't I?"

Raven inwardly sighed in relief. _'The drug must be wearing off. Wait…did he kiss me because he was feeling loopy?!'_ Raven stopped herself. _'Sort that out later. Tea, and then I'll haul him off to the bath.'_ "Yes, you have. I'm glad you're feeling better." She looked at him closely "You are feeling better, right?" Raven asked skeptically.

Beastboy noticed that she was still less than a foot away from him. Her proximity and his wobbly mental state added up to an unusual way to answer her question. His survival instincts were usually better than this, but the week of depression suppressing his mischievous side together with Raven's overt doubt of his recovery led him to one way to answer that she couldn't possibly doubt.

He tickled her.

Raven was shocked to the core again. Helpless laughter escaped her mouth, and the rest of the electronics in the room including Beastboy's clock exploded. Beastboy, for his part, continued to tickle her writhing form, but had the presence of mind to stay away from her chest. Even so, he knew he would be lucky to walk away from this one. _'Oh, well. C'est la morte.'_ At least he would die happy.

Raven found her center, even as the tickling continued. _'I think he's had enough fun for one day.'_ Raven carefully pushed with her mind, and a black aura surrounded Beastboy, pushing him away and into the air. Raven smiled a demonic smile as soon as she got her breath back. Beastboy noticed the smile, and began to sweat. _'Maybe today isn't such a great day to die,'_ He thought to himself. He mentally prepared himself to shift into something big with a hard shell.

"Well, Beastboy. On any other day, that would have gotten you killed," Raven began in a mock pleasant voice, but she still had that unnerving smile on her face. "However, Starfire has more interesting plans for you today. You get to drink your tea, and then you belong to us for the morning." Raven smiled beatifically. "Don't expect help from Robin or Cyborg, either. They're out on patrol."

Beastboy looked at Raven in pure dread. _'Not good. Not good at all.'_ His mind raced in circles. Between the two of them, they were capable of just about anything. To top it off, since they weren't from earth, almost nothing would be off limits to them short of torture or death. And he wasn't even sure about those with Raven. He started trembling in abject terror.

Raven brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, noting that Beastboy was about as freaked out as was possible, short of fainting. _'Hmm…we're both pretty messed up today.'_ Raven smirked. _'To think this all boils down to love. Whoever said "love hurts" was right.'_

Raven sized up her little fish. _'To think that I said that Star's plan was a waste of time. I was wrong. It will be perfect payback for what he just did. I warned him before never to do that again.'_ Even so, Raven was feeling a little guilty. _'In some ways, this is going to be worse than anything he can imagine. On the other hand, it's not like we're going to hurt him.'_ Raven tapped into her powers again, and rose into the air. She gently kissed him. "Don't worry so much, you little imp." Raven said to the helpless and hapless Beastboy. Her dark aura covered every inch of his body from the neck down. "It's just going to be me, you, Star and a camera. I think you'll live." She said with dark humor.

It was Beastboy's turn to be stunned. _'Why did she kiss me?'_ He wondered to himself. He still felt the imprint of her cool lips. It reminded him of a windy autumn day.

* * *

To say that Beastboy was dazed would be an understatement. _'Nothing makes sense today. Why is she acting so weird? And why am I playing along?'_ Raven had made it clear to him when the Titans were newly formed that she didn't appreciate being touched, made fun of or being the subject of his practical jokes. He'd more or less left her alone, but something in his nature just made him want to reach out to her and understand her.

After the battle in her mind, he felt he had a better understanding of what was going on with her. She was capable of the emotions she seldom showed. She might even be as emotional as Starfire, although that was probably not possible, Beastboy thought with a grin. No one he'd ever met was as emotional as Star. '_Raven is shackled by her powers,' _Beastboy thought glumly. It was a shame. Although he'd almost gotten cavities from her, the Raven in the pink cloak he met in the mirror had opened his mind to something he hadn't thought was possible.

Raven had a heart.

It was hard to sift through her sarcasm, bad temper and overt coldness, but Beastboy thought he was finally seeing the real Raven after that battle. A lonely, sensitive girl. Someone who felt that she had to face all of her problems alone. _'Who's to say she's wrong? The others try to help, but I have to face my demons alone as well.'_ Beastboy shuddered. At least his demons weren't four-eyed and as big as skyscrapers.

'I have to face myself, too, sometimes. Where she has too much power to control, I don't always have enough.' Beastboy felt like he had fought well in the mine this time. His stegosaurus transformation had worked against Slade's robots. Too many times, though, he came up short. He felt like he was letting the team down when he wasn't able to compete with villains like Plasmus.

Raven was still an enigma, though. Even though he felt closer to her after that experience, she still pushed him away. He tried to be more gentle and understanding with her, but she still was as cool and remote as ever.

"Beastboy!" Raven's voice interrupted his thoughts. She was looking at him peculiarly. "Are you going to drink this or not?!" Raven's frustration was clearly evident as she held out a cup of her tea for him.

"What?" Beastboy asked, snapping out of his reverie.

Raven took a deep breath. "I've been trying to get your attention, but you've been in la-la land. Are you going to drink this?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Beastboy nodded at the tea. He was still encased in her force field. _'I can't believe I didn't notice her bringing me down to the kitchen. Since when can she hold someone this long?!'_ This was nuts! Raven's powers seemed to be growing by the minute. _'It used to be that she could barely throw a fire extinguisher, and now she's lugging me around?'_ Beastboy thought with disbelief.

Raven, for her part, was wondering what he could be thinking about so hard. She noticed that he had stopped sweating and trembling earlier, after she kissed him. She raised the cup to his mouth, and let him drink slowly.

Beastboy wasn't thrilled at the taste, but it was ok. _'Kinda minty,'_ He thought to himself. It was harder than he thought to drink it, though. Raven was giving him small sips, but it was weird not being able to use his hands.

Raven noticed his expression. "Fine. I'll give you your hands back. You do anything other than drink this, and it's back to being trussed up." Raven relaxed her powers down to his waist.

Beastboy let out a big sigh and took the cup from her. _'I don't think I like what she has in mind. She's not planning on letting me go after this'_ Beastboy thought glumly. _'Don't think about it! Star's plan can't be as bad as all the stuff I keep coming up with…can it?'_ Beastboy made a face. _'Not much I can do about this.'_ He finished the cup of tea. As he did, Starfire flew into the room.

"Friends! All is in preparation!" Starfire announced joyously. She did smile a bit evilly at Beastboy, however.

That smile made Beastboy nervous, but he was in for worse. "We're not quite ready, Star." Raven responded. She walked over to her bubbly young friend, and whispered in her ear. Starfire looked shocked for a moment, but continued to listen. As she did, a Cheshire cat smile appeared on her face. "An most unusual idea, Friend Raven. It should be very entertaining."


	7. Into the Whirlwind

A/N: I'm sure there were some people who were upset with the Ra/BB fluff in the last chapter. I admit that I stared at that chapter for over a month trying to decide if I was doing the right thing. This story is going to be far longer than I thought, and there may be stranger plot twists in store.

Also, it's nearly impossible to ignore the fact that Beastboy loves Raven, even if it may be totally unrequited. On the other hand, in the "Every dog has its Day" episode, Raven lets the alien dog lick her face, thinking it's Beastboy. I leave it up to you as to whether you support the coupling.

I personally don't support Robin/Raven, but there was even some of that earlier in the story. I just write it as I see it :p

Be warned- this is a long chapter. I got sick of how the test kept being put off.

I do not own Teen Titans or anything relating to.

Chapter Seven: Into the Whirlwind

* * *

Starfire chewed thoughtfully on her eraser. She was sitting by the window, writing in her journal. Both Robin and Raven had suggested to her that she should keep one as a reminder of her time on Earth. With all that had happened in the last few months, she found herself agreeing with that logic. After her experience with Warp and the stolen clock, she decided to keep a record as far back as she could remember. It amazed her how far they had all come.

> _Dear Diary,_
> 
> _ Today has been full of many surprises. Raven has been acting… peculiarly. She smiled at me this morning! She also made enough to eat for both of us. It was quite good, including the ice-cream drink._

> _ She has also been acting very strangely around Beastboy, but given the risks accompanying the test she has agreed to it is perhaps natural that she would be acting oddly._

"Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos…Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos…" came the whispery chant. Raven was meditating in front of the window. Starfire stared at her thoughtfully. _Raven is very strong,_ Starfire scribbled in her journal. _She knows the risks, but is willing to take them._ Starfire mused about what reason she had to put herself in such danger. _Beastboy._ She may deny it, but she cared about the strange little boy.

It seemed strange to her, but Beastboy was in many ways still a child. _Perhaps I am not being fair to him. I, too, am often seen as younger and less experienced than I am._ Appearances could be deceptive, she knew. Blackfire had always been a lovable big sister, but she had used Starfire as a dupe and a doormat. Raven had seemed too strange to be friends with, yet now they were like sisters.

> _ Another surprise was the "Payback" that we practiced on Beastboy. I had once thought such pranks to make one be lower than any creature known, yet I feel this "evenness" that Raven spoke of now. I know that Beastboy's prank was an accident, not meant for me, yet now I feel as if I have been washed clean of the memory of that awful mistake._
> 
> _ It is possible that Beastboy thinks uncharitably of myself and Raven now. I had merely planned to wash him with feminine bath soap, thus leaving him smelling of the scents that he complains of, yet Raven added to my plan._

> It is my sense that something happened this morning that she is not happy about. She was not enthusiastic about my plan until after she returned to the kitchen with Beastboy. When she returned, however, she suggested that we wash him and then dress him up in women's clothing and makeup. We succeeded, and even have pictures. Beastboy screamed horribly and begged us not to do it until Raven gagged him.

> _ Beastboy is no doubt cleaning off the makeup as I write. Raven dressed him in one of the pink dresses that I offered her as a gift._

Starfire paused to giggle. Beastboy had given her the blackest look she'd ever seen after Raven had dressed him with her powers. Before they had thrown him into the bath, he'd tried to change into a dozen different forms, but Raven's black aura matched him form for form. He did manage to get both of them quite wet, but Raven's power contained the worst of it. After a while, he simply gave up. That didn't stop him from giving them death-glares, though.

_

> Beastboy looked quite convincing as a girl, but Raven only took three pictures with the instant camera. When Beastboy looked as if he would turn into some horrible beast, Raven whispered some words in his ear. He calmed down, and we let him go.
> 
> Raven is now preparing for her ordeal. I hear the mantra that she speaks, but I hear tension and a dryness in her voice as she speaks the repetitive chant, not the normal calm that seems to infuse her when she meditates. I fear that the dangers exceed what she has told me. I hope I am incorrect.

_

* * *

Beastboy looked in the mirror. _Ok, note to self- never make those two mad again._ _One was bad enough,_ Beastboy reflected _But together, they make Plasmus look like good news._

_I can't believe Star never forgave me for that messed up prank._ Beastboy thought glumly. On the other hand, he couldn't really blame her. He'd itched for months to get Cy back for turning him red. He'd only given up on it because he didn't want a repeat of that mishap. It had been so strange having Starfire hate him. She was such a glowing and happy presence that it had been all but impossible to believe that she could be otherwise. Having her hate him had been like having the sun disappear.

_At least I got one good thing out of my makeover._ Raven knew that he was going to get serious about escaping when she whispered to him. She said that she would do something for him that he couldn't do himself. While this answer perplexed him, he knew that her word was good. She wouldn't do something lame and call it good. She had something spectacular in mind.

Beastboy smiled as he wiped the makeup off. Another good thing had happened- Star smiled at him without reservation now. He hadn't really noticed, but apparently every time she saw him, she was reminded of the oil balloon. She and Raven had said they were "even" now. _I guess I could be a jerk about this and prank them back, but Starfire did have a valid claim. I can't believe Raven was so upset when I tickled her, though._ Beastboy thought about that, but couldn't come up with any answers. And why were Cyborg and Robin out patrolling? Beastboy's stomach rumbled. _Food first._ He headed toward the kitchen.

Beastboy wasn't in his normal uniform. He was wearing some worn out khakis and a tee-shirt. _It's been so long since I wore anything but my uniform, but since Robin doesn't want me out on the streets, I might as well wear something less geared to work._ He frowned. He **liked** being out and fighting bad guys. _I haven't left the tower in a week. No wonder I'm starting to get cabin fever._ Oh, well. Changing forms usually helped with that. He dismissed all of his practical forms, and decided on the ultra-cute kitten form. As he trotted down the hall, his acute hearing caught the sound of Raven reciting her meditation words, and the sound of a pencil scratching. He could also smell Star and Raven's freshly washed hair.

As he entered the main room, he saw Starfire scribbling on a sketchpad, and Raven hovering off the floor, meditating. He wandered over to Starfire, and rubbed against her side. Starfire was uncharacteristically silent, but she smiled at him and put her drawing pad aside so that he could hop into her arms. He did so, and perhaps for the first time, totally relaxed into her arms. He stifled his usual meows, but he couldn't help purring. Starfire for her part, gently rubbed his ears and his back.

* * *

Raven felt the presence of the kitten enter the room, the sound of the soft footfalls mixing with the scratching of Star's pencil. Raven was not relaxed, but her focus was as sharp as a blade. _I'm too worried about what happens next. I'm wasting my time._ She opened one eye, and saw Beastboy resting in Star's arms. She let a gentle smile cross her face. _Maybe I'm worrying too much. Maybe Beastboy really is better now._

Her features darkened momentarily. _I can't be sure. Beastboy has been doing strange things all week. This may be just another stage._ She sighed and let herself drift to the floor. She felt Starfire's gaze, but avoided it. _If I look at her, she'll probably know how worried I am. I have to pull myself together and get this over with._

Raven wandered over to the kitchen, and poured some tea for herself. As she sipped the tea, she tried desperately to stop her hands from shaking. _I don't have time for this! If I don't do this, things are just going to get worse._ She knew the shaking was a bad sign. It meant that she was suppressing so much emotion that it was trying to get out any way it could.

Raven fell back on her most desperate defense. She disassociated herself from her fear. _Death is nothing, madness is nothing, fear is nothing._ She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She knew how dangerous it was not to care, but hopefully, this would all be over soon.

As Raven came out of her thoughts, she noticed that Beastboy was frying tofu in the kitchen, and she had somehow made it to the table where she was staring into her cup. Star was still by the window, drawing on her pad. It was odd how silent things were. Only the sounds of Beastboy cooking and Star's pencil were to be heard. _Oh, well. Here we go._

"Beastboy," Raven called to him.

The sound cut through the silence. Beastboy looked at her a bit nervously. "Yeah?"

Raven looked at him very seriously. "Robin told us what you want to do. Do you still want to do it?"

Beastboy looked at her, and then Starfire. Both faces were like blank masks, their eyes unreadable. "Terra's all alone out there," He answered quietly. "I wasn't going to do anything. She can take care of herself, but not if Slade wants her."

Raven's eyes were sharp and deadly. "We all agreed that we can't make a decision until we're sure that you aren't mentally unstable." Raven paused. "There aren't a lot of ways to test you that will give us an absolutely certain answer. I know of one, but you probably won't like it."

Beastboy plated his tofu eggs and bacon, and gave her a measuring look. "What's the hitch?"

"Two things. One, the process involves me going into your mind." Raven watched him, gauging the impact. She wasn't disappointed.

"You mean like when…" Beastboys words were cut short by Raven's powers forming a gag again. Raven made a motion at Starfire with her head and then the zipped lips motion at Beastboy.

Beastboy gave Raven an apologetic look and nodded. The gag disappeared. Starfire glanced at the two of them, wondering what had just transpired. "Ok, so what's the other problem?" Beastboy asked.

"The other problem is that if you don't agree to it, then the discussion about Terra is over," Raven said with cold finality. "You will have to stay in the tower for a few weeks until we're sure you're back to normal."

Beastboy looked trapped. _And so he is,_ thought Raven. _Either he surrenders all of his secrets to me, or he spends the next couple of weeks with us watching his every move. On the other hand, it's not like this is fair to me, either._

"I have to think about this…" Beastboy began.

**"You don't have that luxury!"** Raven cut him off in a cold fury. "Either we do this now, or we don't do it at all." Star and Beastboy looked shocked at her outburst.

Star nodded quietly. "Beastboy. If you are to do this, it must be now. If Slade truly seeks Terra, it may be too late already."

Raven looked at Star. "Star, can you give us a few minutes alone, please?"

Star looked at Raven. "Of course, friend. Seek me out when you need me."

* * *

As Starfire floated out of the room, Raven looked at Beastboy penetratingly. Beastboy was bewildered by all of what was going on. Once Starfire was out of range, Raven spoke. 

"I know you don't like this Beastboy, but how do you think I felt when I found you in my mind?" Raven asked accusingly. "You and Cyborg know more about me than most people will ever know! I didn't offer you that- you were stupid and you stumbled on it." Raven took a deep breath to get herself under control. "I'm grateful that you helped me, though. I probably wouldn't be here right now if not for you two"

"You're going to have to trust me and open your mind to me if you want to go after Terra. You caused this problem by going into such a deep depression." Raven took a breath. "I don't want to do this anymore than you do. But this isn't about want. If you feel this is important enough, I will do it."

Beastboy looked at Raven in stunned astonishment. _What's going on here?! I don't understand any of this!_ He looked at Raven as if she sprouted another head. _This is nuts! Raven is…_

_…doing this for you, dimwit._ Beastboy almost dropped his fork. He proceeded to swallow, hard. "Raven, what was the alternative?" He asked in a shaky voice.

Raven gave him an inscrutable look. "Someone suggested that we take you out the next time there was an emergency. They thought you were fully recovered. I know better." Raven paused. "You're a danger to yourself right now, sick or not. You're obsessed with Terra and Slade the same way Robin was. It doesn't matter whether you're right about it or not. You aren't in any shape to go into battle."

Beastboy felt as if he'd been slapped in the face. _She's right. All I need is a Red X costume._ He thought long and hard about what he was doing. Going after Terra seemed an act of total desperation, seen from the outside.

You want to fight me, Beastboy? A phantom Slade seemed to say inside his mind. _She's mine, and nothing you do can stop me._ The vision mocked him with cold certainty.

_**NO!**_ _I won't let you destroy her!_ Beastboy mentally shouted back. _Terra's stronger than you! And so am I!_

Beastboy looked up at Raven. "I have to do this." Beastboy said with calm certainty. "What do you need from me?"

* * *

Raven watched Beastboy battle with himself and come to some sort of understanding of the situation. She didn't sense as much desperation now, but that was misleading. _He has no idea what he's getting himself into, more than likely._ Robin told her all about Slade's abilities after the battle in Slade's hideout. His skills seemed to based around his incredible ability to read people. _Maybe that will hurt Slade, in this situation. Beastboy is nothing if not unpredictable. _

"Beastboy," Raven began "I'll touch your third-eye and heart charkas…" Raven broke off as she saw the baffled look on his face. "Look," She began again "you'll lay down somewhere, and I'll lay my hands on your forehead and over your heart. Assuming you don't resist, I'll be able to enter your mind."

"What, no mirror?" Beastboy asked hesitantly.

"No mirror," She said firmly. "That mirror only allows you to enter my mind. It would take too long to change it to your pattern. Also, your mind won't be like mine. It took me years to form all of the separations for each of my personality components." Raven hesitated. "We might get mixed up if your personality isn't clearly defined, so try to stay calm and don't fight me."

"Ok, so where do we do this?" Beastboy asked after he was sure that Raven was done with her explanation.

"You go find Starfire. We'll do this in my room." Raven noticed Beastboy's jaw dropping. "Don't try my patience today. Go find Starfire and tell her to come to my room. After that, come back here and finish eating, and make absolutely sure that you brush your teeth before you come to my room." Raven said darkly.

Beastboy swallowed hard before changing into a bigger cat and running off the way Starfire had gone earlier. Raven finished her now lukewarm tea and headed to her room._ This is it. No turning back._ Her hair flew in all directions, crackling with her unease.

As her door slid open, she took a moment to pause and reflect about her room. _Dark. Mysterious. Full of interesting things. Neat and tidy._ She looked at the drama masks. _Frightening. All of these things are me._ she smiled to herself. She felt Starfire behind her, the heat of her body radiating off of her.

"Starfire, please come in." Raven said quietly. The fiery-haired alien followed Raven into the dark room. "Star, I want to say some things to you," Raven began as she sat down on her bed. "I'm sorry I was so abrasive to you on so many occasions. I'm…not used to people being close to me." Raven took a breath. "I wish I were a better friend to you."

Starfire looked at Raven sadly. "I know that the test will be difficult for you, but there is no reason to abandon hope. I, too, do not understand you as well as I wish to, and I wish I could know the things that could help you more often than I do. Even so, you and I will have the time we need if we wish to be better friends."

Raven clenched her fists. "You don't understand, Star. I've only done this once before, and it almost destroyed me!" Raven's voice was shaking. "I can't do this without telling you how I feel." She continued more quietly "I feel guilty every time I hurt your feelings. I'm sorry."

Starfire looked at her friend closely. "I _am_ hurt when you say those things, but perhaps I was in the wrong, too, when I ignored you in favor of the others in the beginning." Starfire looked sad. "It is hard being your friend sometimes, but I…" Starfire paused. "…like you. You are…special."

Raven attempted a smile, but a tear ran down her cheek. _There are days that I wish I wasn't who I am. When did I give up on being human? I may be half-demon, but I don't have to be a monster._

Raven sneered at herself. _All my studying, and I can't even relate to Starfire. Way to go, Raven._ Raven took a deep breath. _This may be your last chance to show her how you feel. Do you want her to think that you merely "tolerated" her?_

"Star, I'm not good at this." Raven bit her lip. "I want you to know that I like you, too. I can't relate to how emotional you are, but you touch people in a special way. You're the special one." Raven got up and walked over to Starfire. "The fact that you want to be my friend is more important to me than I can tell you." Raven pushed herself in spite her self-imposed barriers and hugged her friend.

A long moment was spent by two friends acknowledging how deep their friendship had become in such a short time. The moment passed as they heard Beastboy making his way to Raven's room.

Raven smiled at Star one last time. Then, she let her training and instincts take over. She was again the faceless mystic, a wielder of dark power and a keeper of secrets. Emotion was nothing, time was nothing, space was nothing. That she was master of all things was all that mattered.

As Raven's eyes glowed pure white, she spoke to Star. "Guard this room against all intrusions, Koriand'r." Starfire looked shocked at the use of her Tamaranian name. "You are the one I entrust. At the end of the test, remove him from my place of rest. If all goes well, we will speak again." As Raven finished her bizarre speech, Beastboy reached the open doorway.

"Changling!" Raven said in a hollow voice, her form surrounded by dark power. She pointed to the bed at the far end of the room. Beastboy tore his eyes from the fearsome form Raven had taken, and made his way to the bed. Starfire sat cross-legged at the door, her eyes alert.

As Beastboy lay down on Raven's bed, she followed behind him, hovering in the air. _She's really creeping me out,_ Beastboy thought to himself. He was filled with a sudden dread. _Why did she gloss over what she was going to do?_

Raven watched as Beastboy began to sweat. A fury filled her. _Not now!_ She mentally shouted at herself. _Just say something to reassure him._ Raven's eyes dimmed back to her icy-cold blue ones. "Relax." She said coolly "If you don't do this, we can't let you go."

Beastboy saw a vision of Terra in Slade's uniform. _NO! I have to do this!_ He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. Continue." Beastboy said.

Raven felt like she was at the edge of the abyss. _After this, there really is no turning back._ She shuddered. _Here we go…_

She touched Beastboy on his forehead and his heart. As she let the sensations flood into her, she relaxed her hands onto those points.

At first, there was nothing. Emptiness.

And then, she started seeing flying things that looked like ghosts, and the sound of wind. One of the ghosts passed through her, and she saw a little girl smiling at Beastboy, thanking him for the ice-cream cone he had given her. Another one, a purple one, passed through her, and she saw herself blowing up the breakfast he had offered her after he had made the comment about Dr. Light. Another passed through her, a red one, and she saw Cyborg falling over the couch in fear, Starfire trembling at his side.

_Memories, or maybe thoughts._ As she had suspected, Beastboy's mind wasn't structured like hers was. The sound of the wind seemed to be getting stronger, too. More ghosts were around, and Raven made an effort to avoid them. _I can't sift through his whole mind. I need to get to the important parts, and find the controlling personality._ She hated what came next, but she was going to have to seek out the parts he wanted to hide. _That's the only way I can be sure that He's all right._

As she pondered, the sound of the wind became a shriek. _No way,_ She thought in disbelief. She saw a hurricane in front of her- a hurricane of the ghosts she had seen earlier.

Raven's heart sank. _Who would have thought anyone could build the Tempest in Beastboy's mind,_ Raven thought as she remembered the mythical storm that raged in the land of the dead._ What could have done this? I would have wagered that he couldn't have two thoughts at once flying around in here._

The maelstrom was a twisting spiral of doom. The ghosts, _Thoughts, _she reminded herself, were shrieking horribly. _This is just the impression my mind is getting. This means that his mind is in turmoil. But such turmoil!_ Raven thought in awe. Her mind wasn't any comparison to the sheer chaos infusing Beastboy's being. _Has he always been like this…?_ she wondered to herself. And then she remembered when he touched her after the battle in her mind. _Yes,_ she thought grimly. _I knew something wasn't right with him. No wonder those hypno-screens in Mad-Mod's little "school" had such an effect on him. He's using everything he's got to keep all of this under control._ She shuddered. _He must not even know about this. He couldn't be so happy-go-lucky otherwise._

Raven looked curiously at the storm. _Why isn't it moving?_ She wondered to herself. She cautiously moved to the edge, and reached for one of the thoughts. Her mind noted that this one was a black one.

Raven was suddenly filled with hatred and horror. This phantom contained a scene where a man was savagely beating a child. Raven retched. _What's that doing here…_

_Wait…Robin told me that Beastboy had savagely attacked someone while they were chasing some criminal awhile ago. Could this have been why?_

Raven looked more closely at the storm, and saw that most of the apparitions were either black or white. _Let's try a white one._ She reached out to one and…

Raven saw herself helping Beastboy to a chair, and lay her hands on his leg, healing him. "Who knew we had a doctor in the house? Thanks."

_I remember that. The day the HIVE took our home, and we showed them that we were the better team._ Raven was touched. She felt the gratitude and surprise from Beastboy's memory.

Raven pondered. _I don't see anything out here. I'm going to have to go in if I want to figure out what's really going on._ She shivered as she looked at the wall of conflicting thoughts and memories. _He's not the only one with contradictions,_ She thought darkly. _I may have calmed my own storm, but I can unleash it, too._ She allowed some of her barriers to weaken, and her thoughts began to surround her. Black and white phantoms swirled around her. Her own thoughts and memories.

As she made her way into the storm, she still felt and saw snatches of Beastboy's thoughts, but she was sheltered from the full effect. She saw many things from the last few months that she had been witness to, but the more astonishing things were the things she'd hadn't been there for. After going through dozens of the impressions, it was clear to Raven that Beastboy loved children, and loved animals. The part she hadn't known was how aware he was about what happened to them.

A great deal of the black phantoms were animals- either in pain, or being raised simply to die. The blackest phantoms, and the ones that disturbed Raven the most dealt with children.

Beastboy had saved many children, even in his short time as a super hero. He was haunted by the ones he couldn't save, or the ones he found victimized. Raven cringed at one particularly bad memory, where Beastboy was asked to help find a small girl that was missing. He found her easily in his bloodhound form…in several pieces.

Raven shut out the impressions for a moment. _How does he cope with this?_ She wondered to herself. She wanted to believe that he had suppressed all of this, but…

If someone had told me about this, I would have laughed at them. Beastboy is such a corny, dimwitted little twerp…but maybe that's just an act. Raven paused, and she saw something odd outside her makeshift shield. _Is that a treasure chest?_

She forced herself to ignore the continuing flow of impressions, and moved closer to the chest. There was a big lock on it. _Like that's going to stop me._ She made a grasping gesture with her hands. "Azerath…Metrion…ZINTHOS!" She shouted as she made a tearing motion with her hands.

She was not disappointed. Her powers worked just about the same, even in Beastboy's mind. The lock dissolved into smoke, and the lid opened. _What's that…?_

As Raven peered inside, she saw a photo of herself. It was an unremarkable photo, except that she seemed to be content, even smiling slightly. _I don't get it…why did he hide this?_ She looked more closely at the photo, and then noticed that her cape was shimmering into different colors. Blue, yellow, gray, green, pink…and then something prompted her to look on the back.

"I've always thought you were funny, but you know

what they say, 'Looks aren't everything!'"

_Wow. He keeps this locked up to remind him of who I really am._ Raven thought to herself. _Why?_ She wondered. She remembered that she was blocking her perceptions. She eased off just a bit. She felt a flood of happiness from the picture. She could almost hear words coming from it _"I can't believe it! We won! And she likes me! She's so amazing!_

_Beastboy likes me?_ Raven thought incredulously. _He likes me **that** way?_ Raven was suddenly happy and sad all at once. She knew what to look for next, and it wouldn't be hidden.

As she peered through the maelstrom, she saw another chest. This one was bigger, and not locked. As she opened it, she knew what she would find.

There were pictures of Terra. Terra flying on rocks, Terra hugging him. Terra skipping stones. Terra messing up the bathroom with her bath. Terra eating Star's fungus.

Terra with an engagement ring on.

Raven knew it would be there, but it still hurt her to see it. _That was on my picture. I know it was!_ Raven sobbed, and her shield buckled. She didn't care. This **hurt.** The maelstrom intensified around her. Then she noticed another picture, underneath the others.

_What's this?_ she wondered. He shield hardened, and the winds died down. The picture was of Terra, in the center of a whirlwind of dust and rocks. Her goggles were broken, and her eyes glowed yellow. The odd part was that she was in a fetal position, sobbing. And she saw Beastboy throw himself at her in the form of a mole, and change as he grabbed her hands. She saw Beastboy talk her out of it, telling her to believe in herself, and that he wouldn't tell anyone her secret.

_She needs him. She needs him more than I ever will._ The thought was a melancholy one, but it gave her strength. _I'm strong enough to deal with my problems._ she thought to herself. _And at least I know that I'm lovable. Starfire and Beastboy showed me that._

Her powers intensified, and she called more of her mental phantoms out of herself. There were so many of them that they began to cancel out a great deal of the turmoil. As she pulled herself out of Beastboy's troubled psyche, the two storms canceled each other out. Beastboy's central persona stepped out.

"Do you believe me now?" The other mind-projection asked. It seemed utterly calm.

_Of course. The calm in the center of the storm_. Beastboy's other facets were probably wandering around, but this was the one she felt when the danger was the greatest. She felt this one in her mind when they had battled her hate in the form of Trigon. This was the one who came out when no one else was there to take charge.

"How can you control all of this?" Raven gestured at the now dispersed thoughts and memories. As she watched, they began to coalesce back into the storm, as her own phantoms returned to her mind.

The other one smiled slightly. "I can't. Nor can I stop this. Beastboy is what he is. I am his center, but he will have to be the one to find a solution to this." The calm one gestured at the gathering tempest "Beastboy does the best he can, but he wants to stop all of this." He gestured toward the dark specters this time. "You and I know that he can't, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to. Why do you think he joined the Titans? For the fans?" The last was said sardonically.

Raven wasn't sure what to make of this. "Is Beastboy really alright?" She asked the calm one.

The calm one lifted an eyebrow. "You're asking about his sanity, right? I can't tell you. You aren't really sane, yourself, so we can't use you as a measure." The calm one seemed amused by this. Raven shot a murderous glare at him. "Ok, so it wasn't that funny. All I can tell you with certainty is that Beastboy didn't figure this Slade thing out."

Raven was shocked. "What do you mean?"

"He felt the thoughts of an incredibly powerful creature that was worried about Terra. This creature seems to have figured Slade out, somehow. Knows the one-eyed monster better than himself, I think." The calm one stared up at what would have been the ceiling. "I can't be sure, but I think the creature wants us to follow him into the desert."

"Was it evil?" Raven wanted to know.

"How should I know?" The calm one countered. "All I could tell was that the creature feared nothing in this world." He stared thoughtfully toward the roof again. "You should be going soon. The strain of projecting into here must be immense."

The calm one noticed Raven's frantic look. "Look, I know you came in here looking to prove that Beastboy was either sick in the head or not. It's not that simple. Beastboy is following a trail of breadcrumbs left by a creature that could probably turn him inside-out. I wouldn't call that sane, but what choice do we have? My two cents was that we should leave as soon as possible." The calm one sighed. "I hate offering answers on a plate, but you need to leave soon, or you won't ever do so."

"Beastboy is as sane as he can be. He's worried sick about Terra, and this creature's thoughts aren't helping." He pointed to an intense white dragon shaped thought. "That is one of the creature's thoughts. It's making the storm worse, here. Touch it, if you dare."

Raven watched the dragon-shaped thought form swirl thought the maelstrom effortlessly. She reached out, and the thought seemed to gravitate to her hand.

"Run all you want, Terra. Each step brings your closer to me…" She heard Slade's whispery voice say, as he watched a spybot's transmission of Terra running through the desert.

Raven was shaking after she absorbed the thought. _He is after her!_ _Wait, it was just a thought. It might not be real… _Raven was shaken to her very core by how powerful the thought-form had been. _That creature thinks it's real…knows it's real,_ Raven realized. _It wouldn't be here otherwise. Nothing that powerful would ever spend time on something it wasn't certain of._

Raven realized that she had been Beastboy's mind too long. It was time to get out.

"Thank you for the information!" Raven said to the calm one.

The calm one looked at her and shrugged. "I know this wasn't what you were looking for. I hope it helps anyway." He pointed up toward where the calm center of the storm continued. "Head out that way by shifting your hands. It will save you the trouble of going through all of that." He gestured at the storm surrounding them.

* * *

Raven came out of her trance. Starfire was watching expectantly. Beastboy was out cold. 

"Starfire…" Raven rasped to her "Get me some water!"

Star silently left the room, bewildered by the request. She did hurry, though. She was **very** concerned about what happened. When she returned, Raven was kneeling on the side of her bed, holding her side. She grabbed the glass of water with her free hand, and drank it jerkily. She sputtered some of it out, but seemed to be regaining control. By the end of the glass, she was drinking more or less the way she should have been.

Raven took several breaths, and tried to get ahold of herself. _Why is Beastboy out cold?! He should be in better shape than me!_ "Star, how long was I in the trance?" Raven wheezed out the question.

"Two hours. It is almost three o'clock."

_Two hours._ Raven thought numbly. _I can't believe I can still think. All of that psychic trauma was unbelievable._

I must have knocked Beastboy out when I scattered his thoughts. She made a face. _Some mystical genius you are._ Her conscience mocked her.

And then, a thought occurred to her. _That was bad, but I didn't run into anything that I don't think about myself._ "Whew." A big sigh escaped her. _I didn't go mad after all. I'll have to make an offering to every god I know that might have helped._

Raven's voice still wheezed, but it was gaining power. "Star! Beastboy is alright! Tell Robin that he has to get back here!" She took a few breaths. "The bad news is that he was right about Slade…we have to do something!"

Star watched as Raven drifted closer to unconsciousness. She touched Raven gently. "I will tell him. You must rest." Starfire lifted Raven gently into bed next to Beastboy. Star pondered Raven's order to take Beastboy out of the room at the end, and decided to ignore it. Both of them were in bad shape. She would be back after they had some time to recover.


	8. Time of Decision

This is the last chapter of Act I. I may be taking a long break from this, or we might see act 2 soon.

Special thanks go to NNY- he's helped me get this far with this with some of his suggestions.

Also, big thanks go to Strider for giving such detailed reviews. I need to know what's going right or wrong with this, guys!(Although, Strider, Raven's positive feelings do not cause the havoc that her negative ones do[nothing blew up when she burst out laughing in front of Robin and Starfire in "Nevermore"]. She suppresses all of her feelings so that she won't have a mood swing and knock the tower over.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Chapter Eight: Time of Decision

Starfire sat in Raven's room, watching over Raven and Beastboy. As she sat on the floor, against the door, she was having an argument with herself.

_I should have called Robin and Cyborg long ago, _she thought to herself. _Raven told me to do so, yet I cannot help but feel it is the wrong thing to do._

Starfire stared off into space. Raven had come out of her trance almost an hour ago, only to pass out from exhaustion moments after. Beastboy had thrashed horribly during the test, and then had gone still. He had yet to surface from his own unconsciousness.

_What is the thought that so troubles me?_ Starfire asked herself._ Raven has stated that Beastboy is recovered, yet I feel no joy in this. Why?_

I feel a wrongness in all of this. What am I ignoring? Starfire frowned impressively, digging through her memories for what was causing the itch in her mind. _Why am I reminded of the clock that was stolen by Warp?_ She thought to herself. She bit her lip, thinking of what happened.

Her eyes opened wide. _Where was Terra in the awful future I visited? None of the others mentioned her…_ She discarded the idea that she had not been welcomed when Star hadn't been there, literally removed from time for twenty years. _Slade was not there either._

Then she remembered Robin's comment last night. _"Beastboy wants to go find Terra and bring her back, or at least warn her." Robin had said. "I don't like that plan at all. There are too many things that could go wrong."_

Starfire's eyes glowed fiercely. _He does not intend to let Beastboy go, yet he does not have an alternative plan._ Starfire felt the enormity of the problem facing her. _I must choose what occurs next. By my actions, all of our fates may be decided._ She thought about that cold and desolate future she had visited. _They wished me to do all I could to change what happened. I hold a trust for them. I am their hope._

_But how can I change what happened?_ Star wondered. She heard a voice both from the past and the future. _"So it's impossible? Good. If memory serves, we've done the impossible before."_ She paused, thinking about Nightwing and his iron determination. _I must have the same strength._ Starfire thought to herself.

Robin may not agree with what I must do, but I must do it. Starfire thought to herself.

As she made her decision, she noticed Beastboy stirring.

* * *

_Owww…my head…did I get hit by a train…?_ Beastboy thought as he stirred. Not only his mind, but his body felt thrashed as well. As he cautiously opened his eyes, he noticed Raven beside him. _Is she hurt too? What happened…?_ He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Beastboy, are you well?" Starfire whispered softly.

"I feel like I got hit in the head by Cinderblock." He replied just as softly "What's wrong with Raven?"

Starfire made a motion for them to leave the room. Beastboy got shakily to his feet, and Starfire steadied him. Luckily, Raven wasn't disturbed in the process.

As they left the room, Starfire lead Beastboy to the main room. It was late afternoon, and the sun was low on the horizon. "Raven is exhausted," Starfire continued softly. "She performed the test on you, and then fell unconscious." Starfire led him to the couch, and looked him over, trying to fathom his condition. "Are you hurt?"

Beastboy covered his eyes with his hand, _Why does it have to be so bright?_ He winced at the orange glow from the low sun. _I don't feel any different…I can't remember feeling anything while Raven was supposedly in my mind. Maybe that's not so weird though. Cyborg and I wandered all over Raven's mind, and she didn't show up until the exit._

"I feel a little dizzy and I have a headache, but I think I'll live," Beastboy responded. The weird pains in his muscles were fading, and he was thinking more clearly. "What did Raven say?"

Starfire bit her lip. "I cannot disclose that now. It must wait until we are all here."

Beastboy looked at her incredulously. "Star…"

Star looked at him pleadingly. "Beastboy, I cannot, and I cannot tell you the reason why. This is important. You must give your trust to me in this."

Beastboy looked at her closely. _She looks just like she did when Robin got all freaky on us. Oh, no! Does that mean I didn't pass?!_ Beastboy's mind ran in circles. _I can't let this happen! I have to get out of here **now**, or may never get the chance again!_

Beastboy backed slowly away from Starfire, and suddenly changed into a small cat again. He dashed away as fast as he could, claws tearing into the rug. _I have to get away! I can forage for food if I have to._ As he gained speed, he tried to think of a faster form. Unfortunately, most of them were too big to be of any use in the corridors. He shuddered at the thought of bouncing off one of the walls in his cheetah form. _Wait, is that a mouse hole?_ As he shifted into a mouse, he dove toward the hole.

Starfire was right behind him, however. She was almost as fast as he was, and she had starbolts. "Beastboy! Cease this immediately!" She pleaded. She didn't hesitate, though. Her eyes glowed green, and a starbolt flew from her hand toward the mouse hole. The explosion blocked the hole, and knocked Beastboy the mouse back against the opposite wall. As the mouse lay stunned, Starfire grabbed him behind the neck.

As Beastboy shifted back to his normal form and the stun wore off, he found himself being held by the scruff of the neck by Starfire. _Well, that didn't work. And I thought I could take Slade. What a joke._

"Beastboy," Starfire said carefully and precisely. "Do not force me to hurt you." Her eyes were deadly serious. Beastboy nodded miserably to her.

* * *

_Why do boys always have to make things so much more difficult?_ Starfire thought to herself. _They always seem to think they have to do things by themselves. Perhaps this is the time to use what Robin gave me._ She reached with her free hand for the spray that Robin had given her on her belt. "I am sorry, Beastboy," Starfire said. "I will speak with you later." As Beastboy began to struggle, she sprayed him in the face with Robin's formula.

Beastboy was snoring in mere seconds.

Starfire sighed in relief. As she hauled him back to his room, she contemplated her next move. _I shall call for Robin and Cyborg. When they arrive, I will prevent them from making a decision until Raven recovers. I will awaken Beastboy after the others have gone to sleep, and we will make our escape._ It made her unhappy to practice such deception on her friends and especially on Robin, but clearly that was what was required. Even Raven would not approve of what she was doing.

_The future **must not** become what I saw._ She remembered how unhappy Beastboy had been in the future. She remembered the hopeless look on Cyborg's face. _I must do all in my power to prevent that._

After she deposited Beastboy in the top bunk of his bunk bed, she made her way back to the living room. She drifted to the main computer, and accessed Robin's communications link. "Starfire to Robin, please return to the Tower."

"Acknowledged," came Robin's prompt response. "What is the condition at the Tower?"

"There is no emergency," Starfire said carefully. They were never sure whether Slade or one of the others could hack their encrypted signal. "Return as you are able."

"Ten minutes. Robin out."

* * *

Robin and Cyborg were at the park tossing a football when Starfire contacted them. As Robin closed his communicator, he stared thoughtfully at it.

"Yo, Robin! Aren't we going?!" Cyborg called from the T-Car.

"Yeah…" Robin still stood there, staring into space. _Something's not right._ Robin stood still, trying to put his finger on it. _What took so long? Raven didn't tell us how long it would take, but I don't think it was supposed to take until 4:30._ He absently wandered over to his motorcycle. He filed the question away for the moment.

Cyborg moved up next to him with the T-Car. He gave Robin a serious look. "What's the problem?"

"I don't know yet," Robin said thoughtfully. "Let's hurry back. I don't think everything went as planned."

Cyborg's face turned grim. "Let's go then," He said seriously.

* * *

Starfire was already putting her plan in motion. She was rifling through the fridge, filling two backpacks with water bottles and food. She pulled out mostly tofu and fruit for Beastboy, and weird variety of food for herself. She also packed some things for Terra to eat, if they found her. _Not "if." We **must** find her._

She glanced at the clock, and saw that five minutes had passed. _I must hide these in my room before Robin and Cyborg return._ Luckily, both backpacks were almost full. _I will require room for warm fabric to sleep with. Beastboy can probably sleep in another form._

Starfire heard the elevator going down to the garage. _I must hurry._

* * *

Robin and Cyborg were in the garage, just getting done parking. Robin was still in his introspective mode, noting everything while seeming not to pay attention. As he took off his helmet, he wondered again why his instincts were screaming at him.

Cyborg got out of his prized car and hit the elevator button. While he was waiting, he polished a smudge of dirt off the hood of the T-Car. Robin's uneasiness seemed to have rubbed off on him, and he found himself looking for more spots to distract himself with.

:Ding:

The elevator opened, and Cyborg and Robin entered. As they made their way up the massive tower, Robin wondered what they would find. His mind conjured many possibilities, most of them bad. _Starfire would have told us if there was trouble…but why can't I shake the idea that there is?_

As the doors opened, they found Starfire in the living room. She was eating an apple. _Why does everything feel wrong, still?_ Robin thought to himself. "Starfire, what happened?"

Star finished chewing the bit of apple she was eating. _This is the moment of importance. He must not know my intentions. I must act as normally as possible._ "Raven performed the test on Beastboy," She began quietly. "Both of them are sleeping. The test was more draining and dangerous than Raven led us to believe." Starfire paused, deciding how best to phrase the next part.

"I do not think either of them are permanently injured, but they are still badly hurt. I do not believe that they will wake until tomorrow," Starfire finished.

Robin processed the information, and noticed that Star had omitted whatever had been discovered. "Did Raven tell you anything about Beastboy's condition?" Robin asked.

Starfire agonized inside, but she knew the only way that her plan would remain opaque is if she lied to him. "No. She did not remain conscious after the test. She asked for water, drank some, and then lost consciousness. Beastboy was not awake at the end." Starfire feinted a sad expression. "I am sorry. We will not know until Raven awakens what Beastboy's condition is." Starfire felt horrible about lying to them, but she kept her mind on her memory of the shattered Titan's Tower in the future. _If I must feel horrible and lie to them to prevent that, then I must._

Robin and Cyborg looked shocked and worried. Robin spoke first.

"If we don't have a verdict, we can't make any decisions yet," Robin said. He rubbed his eyes. "This will have to wait until tomorrow." He yawned broadly. Starfire inwardly sighed in relief. _It is well. He does not suspect._

Cyborg also looked tired. "I'm worried about Rae and BB. I'll check on them, and then get some shut eye."

Starfire quickly thought about whether this would be dangerous to her plans, but kept her sorrowful face on. _I was not exaggerating their conditions. Beastboy cannot wake until the spray wears off, and Raven will not until she is recovered. It should be safe._ "Come, Cyborg," Starfire said softly. "We will check on them together. Please do not do anything that would wake Raven. She asked me to protect her, and she will be unwell until she is rested."

Robin looked like he was thinking of joining them, but seemed to change his mind. "Good idea. I'll make some dinner for us. You check on Beastboy and Raven."

* * *

As Starfire and Cyborg left the room, Robin dug through the fridge looking for dinner components. _My instincts were right about Beastboy and Raven, but is that all it was?_ Robin absently puzzled it out as he looked through the refrigerator. He didn't feel the sense of wrongness as strongly, but something still didn't feel right. He felt like he was missing something.

Ironically, he was staring right at it, but he didn't see it. Starfire's raid of the fridge had changed its state from overfull to just about right. _Hmm…I forgot that we had steaks in here._ Robin thought as he stared at Cyborg's meat filled section. Robin settled on the steaks with some potatoes.

As he prepared the meal, he noticed the surreal silence in the air. _I feel like I'm at a hospital, or a funeral._ He shook those thoughts away. _Or at Wayne Manor again,_ He thought wryly. He shook those memories off too. _I'm glad I'm not there anymore._

Working with Batman was both the best and the worst thing he'd ever done. Bruce had taught him so many things, but he lived the kind of life Robin could do without. _Constantly paranoid, ear to the ground, living in the night and pretending to be a normal person by day._ He shook his head. _Living in the daytime and fighting crime with my friends is so much better. Maybe I could beat Slade by myself if I were more like him, but the cost is probably too high._

He was learning other things here. More important things, in his mind, if not Bruce's. Friendship, trust, happiness…all while doing the same things he had done in Gotham City. _No. We're doing them better here. I still fall into the bad habits that I learned from Bruce, but Starfire and Raven are there to remind me when I'm stepping over the line._

* * *

Meanwhile, Cyborg and Starfire made their way to Raven's room. Starfire had given Cyborg a silent glare earlier when he was clanking down the hallway, and now he was moving more carefully and near silently. As they approached Raven's room, Starfire moved forward to open the door.

The room was dark and silent. Raven slept peacefully, but she was deadly pale. Cyborg moved close and saw the dark sheet moving up and down slowly in peaceful breaths, and noticed a slight pulsing at her jugular artery. _Whew. She seems ok, but who ever heard of Raven sleeping during the day?_ Cyborg thought to himself. He looked closely at her face, and saw lines of tension. _Even knocked out she's still not relaxed. That must have been some test…_

Starfire left for a moment while Cyborg was looking Raven over, and returned with a full glass of water. As she set it carefully on a table next to Raven's bed, she made a motion for them to leave. _Rae looks like she could use the rest. I hope she's gonna be alright, _Cyborg thought to himself.

Cyborg and Starfire carefully left the room and moved on to Beastboy's room. When they entered, they could hear Beastboy talking in his sleep. "No!" Beastboy slurred. "You can't do that!" He thrashed briefly, and then went still.

_Beastboy looks a lot better off than Rae,_ Cyborg thought hopefully. _I don't think I want to know what he's dreaming about, though._ He looked Beastboy over carefully. His color was good, and except for the sleep talking seemed just about normal. He made a motion to Starfire that they should leave, and she nodded.

As they walked back through the corridors, Cyborg yawned hugely again. "Tell Robin sorry about the dinner," He said quietly to Starfire. "I'm bushed. I'm going to bed."

Starfire was so happy at the announcement that she seemed to catch fire inside, though she was careful not to show to much of that to Cyborg. This was going to be the last time she saw him in awhile, so she felt more demonstrative to him than usual. "We will miss you at the meal, friend. I know that you and Robin did not sleep last night so that Raven and I would be able to, so I hope that you find your rest to be a good one. Thank you." Starfire proceeded to give him one of her famous rib-cracking hugs.

"Careful, little lady!" Cyborg said half-humorously "I still need to breathe!" He hugged her back. "Make sure you sleep enough too, Star! Goodnight!"

As Cyborg headed off to bed, Starfire was grateful that he wouldn't be at dinner. Only she and Robin would still be awake, and if his yawns were any indication, Robin would be asleep soon as well. _Beastboy and I can escape just after sundown. The others will not likely awaken before the next morning._ Things were falling into place well.

As she walked back to the living room, she smelled the aroma of grilled meat. Robin glanced her way from the kitchen. "Where's Cyborg? Is he ok? Are our other two patients ok?" Robin wanted to know.

"Cyborg asked me to apologize to you. He was too exhausted to join us." She thought about how honestly she could answer his other question. _The truth should cause no trouble._ "Raven looks exhausted, but is sleeping peacefully. Beastboy looks to be in a much better condition, but seems to be having troubling dreams."

"I see." Robin stared out in space for a moment, seeming to ponder something. "Do you think Raven's going to be ok?"

"I…think so," Star said uncertainly. "She was…most hesitant to perform the test. I recommended that she not do it when she spoke of the risk." Starfire paused. "She said it was too important for her not to. She _seemed_ to be herself when she awoke, but I cannot be sure. She lost consciousness too soon, and said to little for me to be certain."

Robin seemed to come to himself. "I'm sorry to pester you about this. You've been watching over both of them all day." Robin looked over the nearly done food. "Since Cyborg won't be joining us, do you want to have dinner by candlelight?"

* * *

Starfire looked at him curiously. "I know what a candle is, but I do not know of what you are suggesting. Can you please explain it to me?"

Robin smiled slightly. _Her first candlelight meal. This should be special._ He often forgot that Starfire was an alien. Around things she knew, she was perfectly natural. Even when she was totally clueless, though, her childlike wonder at new things reminded him of how special they really were. _It's easy to take things for granted._

"It's harder to explain it than show you, Star." Robin looked around the kitchen. "Help me find a few candles, and then you'll see."

Starfire flew around the room for a few moments, and then seemed to think of something. "I will return soon, Robin! I have some in my room"

Robin plated the steak and baked potatoes. As he looked over to the table, he noticed that it was cluttered with everything from Star's sketch pad to one of Cyborg's comic books. He sighed in irritation. He took all of the items off and dumped them on the coffee table by the couch. As he wiped the table down with a wet cloth, he decided that it needed a tablecloth. _Good thing we don't use those very much._ He dug in the pantry, and found a tablecloth, two cloth placemats and two napkins. _Perfect._

As he was finishing up, Starfire returned with four purple candles. Robin found some saucers for them, and lit them.

* * *

The timing was perfect. The sun had just set, and darkness fell over the Tower. With no other lights, the dancing candlelight filled the room. The waves crashed at the base of the tower, providing soothing sounds in the background.

As Robin and Starfire sat down to eat, there was an air of decorum and intimacy. None of the other Titans were awake, and it felt as if they were the only ones there. While Robin and Starfire rarely even thought about good table manners, they fell perfectly in the mood of the moment. They ate silently and delicately, savoring the food. They had all the time in the world.

Only on a few rare occasions had Starfire been happier. She liked the other Titans, but it was hard to have a moment to herself, let alone with Robin. Something always interfered in the past, but she did not wish to dwell on the possibility of this moment being shattered. _I must leave this night with Beastboy, but I will enjoy this moment._ "I understand, Robin." Starfire said quietly, not wishing to disturb the mood. "This was an excellent idea. I am grateful that you wished to share it with me."

Robin looked slightly embarrassed. "I'm the one who's grateful," He said softly. He didn't spoil the mood the way he usually did by talking about how it was great that she was part of the team. "I'm glad you're here, Star."

They finished their meal in comfortable silence. After they cleared the table, Robin blew out two of the candles. The spring night was well under way for it only being about six o'clock. It was fully dark, and the moon had not risen yet.

Starfire and Robin decided to have dessert. Robin had some chocolate cake while Starfire had strawberry ice cream.

"A toast," Robin said solemnly as they sat down again, raising his glass.

Starfire knew this ritual, and raised her glass.

"To those who make our lives worth living. To the people who watch out for us." Robin said quietly, and Starfire knew he was talking about her.

Starfire spoke just as solemnly. "To those who give of themselves to protect another. To never leaving anyone behind." Starfire finished, both saluting Robin, and stating her own purpose out loud.

"Salute." Robin said as their glasses clinked. They drank to each other, and to all other heroes like themselves.

* * *

After dessert they found themselves on the couch, slowly kissing each other. The silence of the tower was unbroken, and the candles had been blown out, leaving only soft darkness and the faint light of the newly risen moon. Their forms seemed molded together, and as they shifted they seemed to get even closer with each movement.

_Why didn't we do this before now…?_ Robin though dimly to himself as they finished a rather passionate kiss. He was dead tired, but it didn't matter. He was in heaven, and wished it would never end.

Starfire, for her part, was just as enthusiastic. Robin noticed that she was looking at him with concern, though.

"Are you tired, Robin?" Starfire asked.

"Yeah…but there's no place I'd rather be right now!" Robin said with a tired grin.

Starfire looked at him sternly. "You must rest now." She gave him a quick kiss and a happy smile. "Tonight was wonderful. Perhaps in the future…?"

Robin gave in with a smile. "I am pretty tired." He yawned hugely. "I'd love to have dinner with you any time you want."

Starfire beamed at him, and then pointed imperiously toward his bedroom. She took one of his hands and led him there. "Sleep well, Robin." Starfire said as they reached his room. She paused momentarily. "This was a special night for me. Thank you."

Robin smiled and wandered into his room to flop on his bed. As Starfire closed the door, the sound of soft snores came to her.

* * *

Starfire flew soundlessly to her room, grabbing the two backpacks and the antidote for the sleep spray. She worked quickly, hoping that nothing might happen to wake one of the others. She paused when she saw her desk when she saw some writing paper. _I should leave a note for them._

_Friends,_

Beastboy and I must leave you for a time. We go to seek Terra, and I hope that we can return with her in our company. I know that this puts an enormous pressure on all of you, but this must be done. The future -our future- may depend on us saving her. I must go to lend my strength to Beastboy's. It is my hope that with the powers both of us possess, we will overcome Slade or his minions.

I am sorry that I did not tell you of this, but because I am the one the Titans of the future depend on, I must go.

Starfire

Starfire grabbed the note, and flew over to Beastboy's room. The silence of the tower was now her enemy, and she feared that the slight amount of noise she was making would wake the others, especially Raven. _I must leave with Beastboy soon. If we make it out now, our absence won't be discovered until morning._

As she reached Beastboy's room, she heard him stirring. _The spray is wearing off…?_ She thought to herself, bewildered. _Of course. It has been several hours. I did not expect Robin to stay awake for so long._ As she entered the room, she noticed that his breathing was not yet that of a conscious human.

As soon as she sprayed the antidote, Beastboy started to rouse himself. As he gathered breath to ask a question, Starfire quickly slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Rowr rowr rowr…" Beastboy started to mumble behind her hand, but she quickly put a finger to her lips.

"Beastboy," She said in a very soft whisper "Say nothing. We leave to seek Terra. It is late, and if you wake the others, we will not be able to."

As Starfire removed her hand, she handed one of the packs to Beastboy. Beastboy was looking at her funny. "Why are you doing this, Star?" Beastboy asked.

Starfire gave him a serious look. "You and I must not fail in this. We **must** return with her." She took a breath. "We must leave now, as silently as possible. I will explain later."

Beastboy nodded soberly. He pointed upward, and Starfire nodded. They carefully made their way to the stair access to the roof. The pervading silence of the Tower continued, but Starfire was on edge, fearing that they might be discovered at any time. When they passed through the living room, Starfire left the note on the kitchen table. _I am sorry, Robin. I wish that this decision had not been forced on me._

They reached the roof without incident, and Beastboy sighted the horizon. He pointed at a rock formation across the bay that was dimly lit by the faint moonlight. Starfire nodded to him. The entrance to the desert.

As Beastboy took the shape of a pterodactyl, holding his pack in his claws, Starfire reflected momentarily on the enormity of what they were doing. _We do not know what waits for us there. But if we do not try, then I have betrayed the trust of those in the future._ She mentally took strength from Nightwing's confidence. _"We've done the impossible before."_

* * *

As they flew away from the Tower, both full of misgivings and grim resolve, a twist was formed in the Pattern of Fate. Before, no one had fathomed the true reason Terra had left. Now, two of the Titans sought her out, trying to save her.

It may be too late, however.

And it might not be Slade that they have to worry about…


End file.
